She Cares. (girlxgirl) (editing)

VII

As we sat there on my bed it wasn't a wonder that my thoughts skipped back to me wanting to confess my love.

Nady was seated next to me. Her right hand held mine and her left hand was busy with guiding the popcorn from the bowl into her mouth once in a while.

Her eyes were glued on the TV and her face was illuminated nicely in the dimmed room because the TV shined against her face. When she ate a popcorn she would part her lips and her fingers would slide the popcorn into her mouth. Then her lips would close until she swallowed the popcorn, then her tongue would moisten her lips.

Her lips were so pink. They looked soft. I couldn't imagine how it would feel to touch them. I knew from touching her cheeks how incredible soft they are. When her cheeks are so soft her lips had to be a whole level softer. It had to be heaven to feel them against mine.

Nady, again, ate a popcorn and I looked away from her lips and back to the TV. I didn't want her to catch me staring.

The urge to kiss her was enormous. I had to do something. I had to tell her my feelings for two simple reasons.

The first was that I needed to be her girlfriend. I needed to kiss her badly. I knew, that maybe she didn't want to be with me like that, but I also knew confessing was the only way to become her girlfriend. There was no way around.

The second reason why I should admit to be in love with Nady was that I was scared, I was nervous, I was anxious, my stomach felt bad, like I had to throw up, my hands were shaking and perspiring, my whole body was shaking, I couldn't even bring myself to eat some of the popcorn I made.
To sum up I was feeling like shit because I was so scared. That needed to stop.

Would I tell her, I would be over with it. And I certainly wouldn't sweat against Nady's hand anymore, which I found extremely embarrassing. Nady didn't seem to mind though.

I never was so optimistic about the whole thing. I was determined to confess her now and here. I even tried. I truly did. But every time I opened my mouth I found no words. Nothing left my mouth. Not even a peep.

I wondered why I wasn't able to talk to her now, when I truly desired it. I wondered but I found no answer to it.

I sighed.

But I wanted to tell her, and now I couldn't say one word. Did I become mute or what?

That's the only way to tell her my feelings. Now, that I want I can't?

But then, it hit me. And it caused butterflies to erupt in my stomach.

I looked back to Nady and saw her looking to me.

She looked in my eyes.
"Yass," she started quietly, "you know, I'm not dense nor blind. I know you wanted to say something back in the park. And I notice your behavior today since I got back from the bathroom in the café."

I swallowed.

She continued. "I have no idea what possible could have happened in that small amount of time but you are nervous. You whole body is shaking."
She took away her hand and showed it. "You are sweating. My hand is already damp."

It was true. My face blushed.

"I don't care, Yass. Otherwise I wouldn't hold your hand. But please tell me what's wrong. You started to tell me something as we were sitting on this bench. It seemed to be important to me. Please tell me."

By now my heart was pounding like mad. My heart went crazy in my chest. That couldn't be healthy anymore.

I looked down and thought. I looked back up. I opened my mouth. This should be the part where I say 'I am in love with you' but nothing. It was like I truly had lost my voice.