The Rise of a Snape

Lost Memories

This whole thing was just too strange.

Here he was, in a numb daze, staring at his reflection in the Hospital Wing bathroom....

Madam Pomfrey, probably understanding how shocked he was (and understanding that fact that he did not want to talk at the moment), sent Remus to go get Harry's belongings.

Harry made sure to tell him about the loose floorboard and all of his personal belongings. Hedwig, who he had let out at the beginning of the summer he wasn't worried about. She was quite a clever one, and definitely could hold to her own against Uncle Vernon.

He asked if he could go too, but madam Pomfrey was not keen of the idea of 'recklessly compromising your health' as she had put it, especially after the 'passing out incident'.

After Remus returned, Harry had silently changed into his enormous jeans, an old grey t-shirt, and a blue sweater that he wasn't sure where it had come from. He had hoped that this was all just one big joke, but he knew, deep down, that this was the truth.

It was better than the uncomfortable silence, and the looks of pity from Remus.

The one time I'm free of the Dursleys, he thought gloomily, it's because I'm bloody Snape's son.

He took in a ragged breath. It looked like a stranger was standing around in his (or rather Dudley's) old clothes. He was hoping it would make him look a little bit more like himself, but it just made him feel more alienated....

A couple strands of hair fell into his eye. He brushed it back in annoyance for the hundredth time this morning; it was longer than it had been, and almost shoulder length.

The hair just flopped back into his eyes again.

Is this how Hermione feels about her hair?

Harry snickered slightly, smiling a little as he remembered long ago when he was forced to go to school with Dudley and all of the other rambunctious children.

He had long been cast aside, bullied, and quite the oddball at that time.

That's when he met Lucille Love- she had long, tangled brown hair, pursed lips, thick glasses with pink rims, and was a little on the scrawny side.

They were both outcasts, not friends by any means, but he remembered clearly when he found her by the side of the school, tears streaking her round face.

"Ello," she had muttered.

"You alright?" he had mumbled, biting his lip.

This led to the sob story about how 'the other girls are teasing me 'cause of my hair.

"Looks fine to me," he had argued, eying her loose, long brown hair with indifference, but she had shook her head in distress.

"There anything I could do?" he had asked, nicely, because that's what Aunt Petunia had taught him to do.

So this led to little Lucille Love showing him how to braid her hair 'like all of the other girls.'

Harry snorted. He never thought that braiding one's hair would come into play, but to get this damn hair out of his face...

5 attempts and 10 minutes later, he felt strangely accomplished with pulling back his hair into a fairly successful braid. It definitely was a good distraction....but now, with nothing to do.....

He cursed quietly and punched bedspread with a little bit more force than intended.

"Hello, Harry," came the familiar mild voice. He jerked up in surprise.

Flushing at the sight of the man whom he had destroyed half of his office last year, but he sat up a little straighter.

"Hello, Professor." he replied. Dumbledore looked- did he dare say it- shocked- just for a minute before assuming a serious expression.

"It had come to my attention earlier this summer from your friends, Mr. Weasley and Miss Granger, that they were worried about you-" Dumbledore stated after a time.

Ron and Hermione! What was he going to tell them? He could picture it clearly, their expressions of complete horror and pity.

"-which prompted me to send Professor Lupin and Professor Snape to check on you."

Harry stiffened at Snape's name.

"Does he know too?"

Dumbledore nodded. Harry let out a sigh, and resorted to looking angrily at the ceiling.

"Why," he stated, louder than intended, "why didn't he just tell me years ago?"

"He didn't know either." said Dumbledore gently.

"How-" Harry started, eyes flashing in anger.

"He was obliviated," continued Dumbledore quietly, shocking Harry into silence, "and I'm afraid we may never know the circumstances of their relationship, Harry."

Harry bristled at the use of the word 'relationship', before settling back and biting his lip.

"He was just as much a victim as me," he said after a pause with an air of finality.

Dumbledore had that surprised expression again.

There was another silence (not quite as awful as the other ones).

Harry, looking hesitant finally spoke up, "Professor," he started slowly with a horrible realization, "what if- was my mother unfaithful to my d- er- James?"

"No," came the deep voice from the doorway. Harry turned again to face the haggard looking Severus Snape, "if there is one thing I know, it's that Lily was loyal to Potter."

His intense obsidian eyes darkened slightly. The crease between his eyebrows deepened.

Harry took a deep breath, looking down, and feeling awkward and tense, as he knew that Snape was too.

"Just like your arrogant father!"

Oh, the irony.

"Now," Snape growled, leaving no room for argument, "if we are quite done with asking 'how', then we must move forwards. What the hell are we going to do about- about this?"

Harry noticed that Snape's fists were clenched, and that is eyes withheld a flicker of sorrow.

"Count me in, too." came the quiet voice of Remus Lupin.

There was a long pause before- "Have a seat, Severus, Remus,"

Dumbledore gestured to the seats by the bed.

Both looked determined as they sat down. Dumbledore, blue eyes sparkling behind his glasses, nodded at each of them.

Let the meeting commence.