Blackbird

I dont know

I turn around and walk out I pick up my bag as I start to leave. I can hear yelling behind me and scrambling around, Elwood whines softly at my side. "I know Elwood I know." I leave with my bag in hand, I look back again. I smile ruefully as much as I want to cry I don't, I can't not here not now. I just start walking I don't stop, I know where Mia lives so I can go there. Arrange a flight back to my apartment, and then do whatever I need to do. I would still have to go back to work with him after.
I push the thoughts out of my head and just walk to Mia's as fast as I can, the air isn't calming anymore now it's biting. When I finally get to Mia's house I knock on the door it takes a second for her to answer and she looks surprised but once she sees the state I'm in she just lets me in without a word guiding me to a couch.
"I'll get some tea." She mutters softly putting my bag in another room as I stare blankly at the cream coloured carpet.
It doesn't take her long to come back and she wraps an arm around me setting the tea on the oak coffee table and bringing my head to rest on her shoulder. "It's okay you can let go now." And I do. I cry until I feel they are gone. I recount my story to her between my sniffles hugging a pillow and petting her cat, daisy, who had come to comfort me as well. I tell her about New York and my mother and father, the phone incident, leaving a note in my distress and panic, coming back and finding out he slept with someone else, and walking here. She listens without interrupting, when I finish she draws me in for another hug and I cry again letting go of everything I felt. The loss of my father, the hatred from my mother, the betrayal of Andrew, and my newfound loathing of a girl I didn't know the name of. I couldn't hate Andrew however and that just made it worse.
Mia eventually guided me to a guest room and let me have some time to myself. I lean against the bed sitting on the floor and just stare at the ceiling letting the events play over and over again in my head. I hear the shrill sound of a phone and Mia's angry tone on this end. Eventually she hangs up and not long after brings me up some more tea and some soup.
She looks at me concerned, she puts down the tray on a nearby desk and puts a hand on my forehead. "Aria you're burning up." She clicks her tongue. "I'll draw you a bath just work on drinking the water for now and try and eat some soup, you need to keep your strength up." I drink little of the water and don't touch the soup managing a few minuscule bites of the bread before I feel too sick to eat anymore. Mia comes back and guides me to the bathroom leaving me with some towels so I can bathe in peace. I strip and get into the tub when she leaves but I curl my knees up to my chest and rest my head on my arms staring into nothing.
I don't know how long I sat there but I finally got out and changed into new clothes and sat on the bed again. I hear the door, some angry yelling from Mia and someone rushing up the stairs with her yelling in tow. It stops outside my door. I hear the hushed voices of Andrew and Mia arguing before the door opens. Andrew steps in and shuts it before Mia can follow.
"Aria." I curl up laying on my side and face the wall. "Aria please don't do this."
I face him. "Me? I left because my father was dying Andrew! I left you a note, my phone was broken in New York I couldn't call you. So what do you do? You go and sleep with some other woman?! What am I doing? I didn't have sex with anyone else!" I glare at him trying to hold back the tears. He just looks at me broken and defeated. "Say something!" I yell at him. I don't know what else to do. This man has turned me inside out, I fell for him harder and faster than I thought I could.
"I- aria look...." He sighs and sits on the edge of the bed. "Aria I fucked up. There is no excuse for what I did. I was weak drunk and miserable. I didn't know where you had gone. I tried calling you over and over again. And she came and-" he stopped talking when he saw the glare I gave him. "What I did was wrong and I know i can't fix it by just saying sorry but can you forgive me?" He was pleading with those eyes of his.
I look away from him "I don't know Andrew. I don't know"