Never Coming Home // Frerard

Chapter 23

"Oh my fucking..." The shock in Brendon's voice quite perfectly matched the shock on his face as Mikey, Frank and I walked into the all too familiar Starbucks where we were to meet him and Ryan.

"You like it?" Frank smirked, reaching a hand up to feel his own buzzed hair.

"You guys look fucking awesome," Ryan grinned.

"I was practically forced into it," Mikey groaned, though I could tell he was kidding.

"Oh, shut up, Mikes," I laughed, nudging my brother's shoulder. "You like your hair."

We all ordered our drinks, paid our shares, and sat down around a table with our coffees.

"So, Mikey, guess what?" Brendon broke the silence after taking a sip of his drink. Mikey looked up from his own drink, his eyebrows raised in his silent way of saying what? "You're the only one here right now that's single."

"Fuck, I knew this was coming," Mikey muttered to himself.

"You got your eyes on anybody right now? Anybody to be the Frankie to your Gerard?" Brendon joked.

"Well..." Was all Mikey muttered in response, and that was more than enough for Brendon.

"Who is it?"

"You'd laugh at me..."

"Oh, come on, dude. Just tell us. We'll set you up." For some reason, Brendon's persistence pissed me off, and I could tell it was becoming overwhelming to Mikey.

"Dude, lay off," I told Brendon. "If Mikey wants to keep it to himself, let him. He doesn't have to date anybody right now if he doesn't want to. Okay?" Brendon raised his arms in surrender.

"Thank you," Mikey whispered. I nodded in response, lifting my drink to my mouth and taking a sip.

~

After we dropped Mikey off at the house and endured the "you're not gonna get a job with that hair" lecture from my mom, Frank and I went to the graveyard and sat together, leaning against the same tree as before, his head resting in my lap and him looking at me as I thought over the problem that'd been bothering me since we'd been at Starbucks: my asexuality.

I could tell that Frank probably wasn't ace, and I could also tell that I wasn't willing to quit being with him because of that, because whether or not I liked it, I was falling face-first for this boy, and I couldn't just leave him. But what was I supposed to do? There were too many possibilities: Frank could leave me. He could lie and tell me he was okay with it. He could cheat on me for somebody who did want to do the nasty with him. He could fucking-

"Are you okay, Gee?" Frank asked, pulling me from my spiral of worries. I looked down to see a worried expression on his beautiful face, and a jolt of guilt and sadness ran through me.

"Y-yeah, I'm fine... just thinking."

"Thinking about what?"

"...I-it's... it's nothing, Frank."

"Gee, you don't have to lie to me," He took my hand in his and rubbed the back of it with his thumb. "Tell me what's worrying you."

"You'd break it off with me if I told you, Frank. You wouldn't want to be around me anymore. You wouldn't want to talk to me, you wouldn't want to think about me, you'd quit falling in love with me. You'd want somebody else. You'd think I was broken. I can't take that risk."

Frank sat up and moved so that he was sitting in front of me, and held both of my hands, looking me in the eyes. "Gerard, I'm not going to think of you differently. I'm not going to tell you that you're broken, and I'm sure as hell not going to leave you. Gee, please, I want to know what's bothering you."

As much as I wanted to just fucking tell him and get it over with, I couldn't seem to form the words, and even when I did, I couldn't get them to leave my mouth. I just knew, I knew he didn't know what he was saying, because I was so fucking sure he was going to run away in fear when I told him, and fuck, I couldn't deal with seeing him like that. I ripped my hands from his and pulled my knees up to my chest.

"You don't know what you're saying. You have no idea what I'm not telling you. You don't know if your words are true, Frank."

"Gee," He spoke with disbelief, "Come on, Gee. It's okay," He was trying to soothe me. "Gee, it's okay. I know you don't believe me, but come on, I'm not going to leave you."

I took a deep breath. I swallowed my fear and pushed the spiralling worries to the back of my mind. I focused on this moment, on Frank, and not on the fucking whirlwind in my stomach. I looked up at Frank, who's face wore a worried expression.

"I'm... I'm Asexual."

~~~~~~~~~~

Hahahaha don't kill me pls

;-;

~XoSpark