[..I just found out that this character from The Flash eventually becomes Killer Frost.. I hate everything...]
You're not sure how long you've awake. It could be minutes, hours, days; you don't know. When you ask Fish, she tells you you shouldn't complain about the long hours and complete the next mission.
The missions are a blur as well. You're always in a van, dark, full of guns and eyes watching your every move. And then you're ushered out once the vehicle has stopped, face the team leader, and then it's black until awakening in the van again, limbs heavy and soar, new cuts and bruises placed at random along your face and arms.
But you've stopped asking questions. Why you don't remember anything other than working for HYDRA, why you can't remember your name, why when you look in the mirror, you don't recognize the person staring back at you. They're never answered, and if they are, it's usually in the form of a grunt of glare.
"We're here," the man next to you says gruffly, hoping out of the van and you do the same. Once everyone's lined up, he turns to you, and right as he's about to speak, an arrow goes whizzing by your face and transforms into something resembling a mask, hitting him on the mouth.
He tries to scream, tug off the mouth piece, but he can't and ends up stumbling backwards into the ground. That snaps you out of your blank stare, and then the backlash of all the missions hits you hard. A wave of complete exhaustion rolls over your body, your knees giving out and you hit the the floor on all fours.
And then everything erupts into chaos. Guns firing, bombs going off, men flying through the air, a man in tights running around. Your head snaps up, and you squint as a man in red, white, and blue slams his shield against a HYDRA agents chest.
"Engage!" An agent shouts right before he's picks up and thrown.
And then it's like all those other times you had been on missions. Your mind turns off and you just.. fight. But you're awake for this, unable to stop yourself as you leap forward and rip off the A helmet from the mans face.
It's like you're on autopilot, completely not in control as you pull your arm back and land a ouch square against his jaw.
"Sorry about this, (Y/n)!" A voice calls, and your head wipes around just in time to catch a dart inches from your neck. But the metal cuts into your skin, and your hand begins to go numb. The sensation spreads up your arm until you can't feel your legs anymore and you're just standing there, unmoving.
"Call Pietro," The man says, picking up his helmet and tugs it back onto his head. "Tell him we found her."
____
"She won't talk,"
"I will try anyways,"
"Pietro, I don't want you to get your hopes up, okay? The (Y/n) we knew is gone. The (Y/n) you love.. is dead,"
He nods, takes a deep breath, and enters the small room (Y/n)'s occupying.
He immediately frowns at the straps around her wrists and ankles, but shakes it off and sits down on the chair. He tries to meet her gaze, but she isn't focusing on anything particular, just staring into space.
"(Y/n)?" He tries, smiling. "How are you?"
She doesn't respond, but turns her head and Pietro jumps. Her eyes are lifeless and sunken in, purple bruises under them, her skin sickly pale, giving her the appearance of a ghost.
"Do you know who I am?"
And then, very slowly, a grin spreads out across her face. In a low, heavily voice, she whispers, "It's your fault,". Her maniacal laughter is what makes Pietro leave, not able to stand the sound of something so deranged and empty.
"She spoke," Pietro says as he passes Natasha, who's trying to reach out and reassure him that they'll try to help (Y/n), that (Y/n) will get better, but she knows the girl she once knew is gone, and retracts her hand. "Looks like you were wrong."
