You have a mission. A purpose as to why you're doing this. Why you're betraying their trust. You've joined their team, but swore you heart to another.
The shock is evident on their faces when you pull a gun on Steve, barrel pressed against his temple right as Natasha's about to destroy a hard drive containing everything you've collected from them.
"Hand over the drive and I won't blow Stevie's brains out," You snarl, shedding your goofy, bubbly persona and slip into the cold, detached HYDRA agent you are. "C'mon, aren't we all friends here?"
"You're one of them?" Bucky doesn't seem to be handling it very well. He's beet red, eyes wide, shoulders hunched. "H-How could you be one of them?"
You remember all the nights staying up with him, comforting him, telling him that HYDRA would never take control of him again, that you'd always be there for him. But you don't feel the smallest bit of remorse as he collapses to his knees, curls against the wall.
"Now that that dramatic scene is over.. The flash drive?"
Natasha clenches it in her fist, giving you the nastiest glare she can muster, and tosses it forward. You catch it in one hand, kicking Steve to the floor and shoot the wall near Natasha's leg. She jumps back, stops reaching for the gun, glares harder.
"Don't. Move."
You turn, finding Clint behind you with an arrow at the ready. You pull a lopsided grin, throwing him off, and he lowers his weapon. You take the advantage to leap forward, planting your arms on his shoulders, pushing him down as you go up, landing in a summersault and take off running down the hall.
You end up getting cornered by the team, everyone there but Bucky. You're guessing he stayed behind.
"You don't know what you're doing, (Y/n)," Steve says calmly, but you know he's shocked to the core at your betrayal. He thinks he knows you, who you really are, but he doesn't have a clue.
But you use his trust as an advantage. As you collapse to the floor on one knee, you pull out a cyanide capsule as a plan B.
"Y-You're right.." You whimper, grimacing at the pathetic tone in your voice. "HYDRA. They kidnapped me months ago. Forced me to be a spy."
Steve wants to move forward, to comfort you. You can see it in the way his eyes soften. But it's Natasha who stops him, swinging her hand out in front of him.
"She's lying,"
You sigh, stand, give them a two fingered salute, and jam the capsule through your lips.
They all scream of course, because you're their friend. Their teammate. You don't remember Bucky ever getting there, but he's here and cradling your head, tears pooling in his eyes.
It's funny, in your opinion, as you lay here, blood bubbling up in your lungs. You start to giggle, the same giggle you had forced millions of times before. When Clint missed a target, when Natasha slipped on a patch of ice, when Steve dropped his shield on his toes and started to cry, when Bucky pulled a face when you ruffled his hair.
It's not forced this time, though.
