First up on how no to write: Adopted by 5sos
Hello my name is Kylie Aphrodite Angelina Jolie. My life is TERRIBLE. I'm five years old. I have long black hair that cascades down my back elegantly, super tan, white, pale skin, luscious pink lips, and perfect boobs and a butt.
IM SO UGLY.
I hate the way I look. I look so ugly standing there in my crop top, short shorts, and vans. I'm really poor btw. My parents don't even care about me!!!!!!
They beat me every night with chains and whips. I have scars but you can't see them. I also cut, but you can't see them either since I always were shorts and a crop top. But anyways, my parents.
THEY HATE ME SO MUCH. I only get French food made by my black butler Sebastian.
He's not African American shut the freaking chicken up you racist female dog!!!!!!
Today they sent me to an adoption center. I AM LITERALLY CRYING, MY CHANEL MASCARA IS RUINED!!!!! There are so many kids here it makes me cry more. Everything sucks, so I'm gonna cut myself. I cut into an important vein and blood squirts out everywhere.
I'm good tho.
Even though we're at an orphanage we still got 2 go 2 school. Ugh it's a new school, help.
As soon as I walk in everyone screams at me "HEY UGLY FAT WHORE!! YOURE SO DISGUSTING AND I HATE YOU SO MUCH BITCH!!!"
I start to cry as I walk into class. Suddenly I bump into a tall object.
Wait, that's not a tall object... Ist a persn omg!!1!!1!1!2!!1!1!1!//!1!1!
I look up to see God. Not the actual God, I'm atheist you bitch. He had blonde hair in a quiff and wore skinny jeans. OH MI GODDD HES SO FREAKING CHICKEN HOTTTTT!!!!1!1!2!1!1!!2!1!2
"Um I'm so sry beautiful tall man" I say blushing
"K bitch I don't even go here" and he walked away. That was the last time I ever saw him. AT LEAST I THOUGHT!!!
When I got back to the orphanage the lady, Mrs. Bluetitty pulled me by my hair into her office.
"YOU STUPID BITCH, GUESS WHAT?"
"WHAT?!" I cry. WHY DOES EVERYONE HATE ME???????!!!!!??!!
"THERE ARE FOUR TALL FAGGITS NAMED LEUK HAMMINGS, COLUMN GHETTOHOOD, MICHAEL CLIFFORD THE BIG RED DOG, AND DADDY HERE TO ADOPT YOU. YOU BETTER BE ON UR BEST BEHAVIOR FOR THEM U LIL BITCH, THEYRE FROM 5 ES OH ES."
"OMG" I turn around to see them standing there. OmGGGGG!!!! It's the tall guy I ran into at school omG!!!! HES GONNA BE MY DAD???!!???
Michael wrapped his toned arms around me. "OMG BBG I WILL NEVER LET YOU GO MY SWEET CHILD OF GOD"
"OMG HELP THE TALL DOG WITH RED HAIR IS RAPING ME!!!!!!"'
After the words left my mouth the five ES oh ES squad beat the shizzy fernizzy out of Michael.
"Hi" Luke whispered in my ear in his thick, Australian, -10 octave voice.
"Omg hi" I blushed.
"I will luv u 5ever bb"
Then we went into the other room and did it for the first time, omG.
"Ohmdhg leuk hammings" i moajed
"yus bby i luv u sweet child"
AND THEN WE GOT MARRIED N HAD TEN KIDS.
A/N HAY GUYS THANKS FOR READING MY STORY I HOPE YOU ENJOYED ITTTTTTTT
^fake a/n
Authors notes of mine will always be in bold.
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Dumb Fanfic Moments † Everything You Shouldn't Do
RandomIn which I teach you the worst way to write and how to fix it. (If you take offense to this, bitch the door is to your right)
