Lovely | Joshler

Texts and Marks

•TRIGGER WARNING!! •
• Tyler's POV•

As soon as I closed my door I laughed. I finally had made a friend!
"Yay." I whispered to myself. I ran upstairs into my bedroom.

I had tons of homework but that could wait. I wanted to text Josh. 'What if he is busy? What if he was just being nice and I forced him to give me his number? What if-'
"Shut up!" I said to my brain, lightly punching it. I hesitated hitting send but I used my other thumb to push it down.

Tyler: Hey, it's Tyler

It took a little bit of time before he replied.

Josh: Hey Tyler! Sorry I was doing my homework. Are you excited for Christmas break coming up soon?

Tyler: Oh that's ok. I should do it soon also. Yes I am very excited! I'm going to see my other family during to break.

Josh: Oh nice! I'm staying home do the holidays with my mom. We do it every year, it's nice.

Tyler: I bet it is nice. Just you and your mom.

Josh: Yeah. :)

Tyler: I should do my homework... I'll see you tomorrow!

Josh: Bye!

I sat down and opened my book. I couldn't focus on it. I just couldn't keep the blue haired guy with the kitty backpack out of my head.

To distract me I decided to put in some music and start singing. I put on I Miss You, by Blink- 182. And started singing.

Minutes passed when I heard a loud thud from downstairs, followed by a,
"SHUT UP! TYLER YOU SOUND HORRIBLE!" It was my moms voice... She never really supports me so I just turned off the music with tear filled eyes.

"S-sorry mom!" I yelled back, my voice wavering a little. Why couldn't I live in a loving household? I wonder what Joshes house life was like? Probably better. I was to distracted to do my homework so I slammed my book shut, threw it at my backpack, and fell on my bed softly crying.

Why can't I have a normal life?! Why can't I be normal and liked? If only I could change how I felt. I sat up in my bed and walked into the bathroom. 'I need to take a bath' I thought to myself as I turned on the water, and stripped down.

As I lay there with tears rolling down my cheeks, I spot a razor. Smirking, I slowly reach up to grasp it. I keep thinking to myself, 'should I do this? Should I really do this?' And I press the razor to my soft, pale wrist, not moving it until I am comfortable with the temperature of it.

Then I slowly glide it across my wrist, biting my lip at the unfamiliar feeling of pain. I look at the multiple lines of blood on my wrist. By dragging a razor over my wrist once, it leaves multiple marks. I think a little on how this effects me and it hits me. It makes me forget.

•

Hey guys! I'm going to be busy during break so I won't be able to update! Merry Christmas and happy new year! :) I know this is a sensitive subject and I do not do this to myself. I am a happy person, I don't suffer from depression or anxiety or anything like that.