Lovely | Joshler

I'm Bi

• Joshes POV •

"Connie, I-I need to tell you something." We both sat down at a relatively fancy restaurant sipping lemonade. I was slightly sweating on what her reaction would be when I told her how I was feeling. It was December 30, and I didn't want to do this during a New Years party.

"I need to tell you something that I have found out about myself, it's pretty important to me." I mumbled to her.
"Tell me!" Connie smiled. I was shaking so hard I almost knocked over our drinks. I cleared my throat and said abruptly,
"I'm bi."

The response I got back was something I was preparing for, for a while. Her response was- almost, the worse case scenario. She just sat up in her seat, flipped me off and walked out. I was in pure shock.

I put my head in my hands, sighing as I did so. A tear rolled down my cheek as I stood up, put money on the table and walked out the door.

Walking home was difficult, I kept stumbling over my shoes thinking of Connie.
"I thought you would understand." I whispered to myself. I felt terrible, even though it wasn't my fault I was bi, love is not a choice. I'm not any different than a regular person! I just have different love interests, that's all. Right?

As I closed my door, Mr. Jelly came and rubbed himself against my leg, purring and pawing the ground. I smiled at him and picked him up.
Walking to my bedroom was an obstacle course. Bookshelves and lamps were in my way as I tried to carry my heavy cat to my bed.

Laying in my back, I look up at the glow in the dark stars I have on my ceiling. I put those up as soon as we moved to this house 15 years ago. I never took them down. They reminded me that we are all free, we make decisions and we all have the same outcome, death. It was a darker thought, but it was true.

Some stars were bigger than others and that reminded me that we are all different, we all have different mind sets that determine how we succeed in life. We all have different interests, some like the color red, some like the color grey. We are all different and we should stay that way. The world is more interesting that way.

Connie I guess didn't accept me, but that's because she is different than me. She is still trying to figure things out right now. About us. I would be ok if she broke up with me because if she didn't, I would. I don't want to be with someone who I feel uncomfortable with because of who I am and what they believe. People are strange.

I sit up and sit down at my drums. Thinking of what to play. I think of the song I heard Tyler singing last time we hung out. Long Way Down by Robert DeLong. So then I start hitting away at my drums, tears streaming down my face as I do so.

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Hello! Sorry I know it has been a while since I have updated. So I hope this can make up for it!