It is our choices (A Harry/Severus friendship fic post DH) (Watty Awards 2011)

Chapter 5- The truth is generally preferable to lies

Chapter 5- '....the truth is generally preferable to lies.'

Snape rested peacefully that night but when he woke up to the sound of Greagor entering his room and placing his breakfast tray on the dresser, he couldn't help but think of Harry Potter. Because the Malfoys were absent from the final showdown, they did not know and neither did Snape, the conversation that occurred between the boy and the Dark Lord. Nevertheless, Snape felt sure that, knowing Potter, he would have mentioned something to Voldemort regarding Snape's loyalty if he had indeed seen his memories in the Penseive that night. There was no way of knowing for certain what Harry thought of him- not that he cared of course- he continued to convince himself that he was simply 'curious'. Having received the Daily Prophet every morning, Snape had no hint that Potter had seen the memories let alone knew that he was alive. True to their word, the Malfoys had kept their mouths shut about his continued existence, but there had been speculation about the whereabouts of Snape's body or so Lucius informed him. Severus tried to convince himself that there would be no point in telling the wizarding world that he was still alive except for his own selfish reasons: to know if Harry saw his memories. Just when Snape decided that he was going to keep his existence a secret for as long as possible, Lucius walked in. 

"Severus, Greagor has informed me that you are well enough to go home. How are you feeling?" Lucius asked in an almost monotonous tone as if the situation was boring to him; it was his usual routine every morning. 

"Well, thank you, Lucius. I guess I should be going back to Spinner's End." 

"And when you leave here, are we to continue asserting your non-existence or do you think you would like to inform people that you are, in fact, alive?" Snape was becoming agitated by Lucius' very obvious attempt at sarcasm, yet he remained civil nonetheless. 

"I was just thinking about that myself and I concluded that I do not want people to know; it would be too uncomfortable for everyone." 

"And since when have you cared about people other than yourself?" Lucius spat somewhat aggressively. Clearly Lucius was still angry from the previous night. 

"Lucius, it is clear that Potter and consequently most of the wizarding world believe me to be dead and I would like to keep it that way." 

"So you're going to go back home and live an isolated life never talking to anyone or entering the wizarding world ever again? Don't be stupid!" 

"And if I don't do that and foolishly decide to enter the Wizarding world the ministry will be onto me for the murder of Dumbledore." 

"But I got away with being a Death Eater; Kingsley is lenient and if Potter is around I am sure he'll defend you." 

"What makes you say that?" 

"Well he did it for me and if he did see your memories then I would bet my Manor that he'd protect you." 

Snape nodded. "Well what do you think I should do?" 

"Perhaps it would be an idea for me to spread a rumour around that you are still alive and see what the reaction is- if it is positive then you can reveal yourself soon, otherwise you can go into hiding like you so badly want to." Lucius was being extremely bitter, but Snape still appreciated his insight. 

Snape nodded in reply. "Mention that I was injured so that there is a reason as to why the rumour hadn't arisen earlier," Snape added. 

Lucius nodded. "Fine, but when I return tonight, I want you out of my Manor." It was becoming apparent to Snape that Lucius and Narcissa most likely continued their argument after they and their son left his room the night before. Although Lucius seemed to understand and accept his wife's and friend's actions, it seemed to be taking a long time for him to openly assert his forgiveness.