Cracked Up •Phan•

0% Healed

Dans P.O.V

My class were picked and placed pretty fast, which didn't bother me. Class started in a week so I had time to lounge around in my underwear doing nothing, which was not anything typically special. 

While walking to the main office people were staring, I guess lashing out made people scared, I guess I shouldn't have done that.

Oops..

Once I reached the main office I seen 'pretty boy' sitting in one of the seats through the window, I froze, I'm not completely sure why but I did and it kinda scared me, the  weird feeling in my stomach made a reappearance when I seen him, his eyes were looking straight ahead but I knew it was him, he was beautiful, he drove his hands threw his hair and I smiled a little, which scared me even more. I mean we shared glances for twenty minutes and now I hopelessly fell in love? Yea right, so instead of asking about the gap in my schedule and the feelings in my stomach I walked right out the front door and without looking back, straight back to my flat.

Phils P.O.V

I had woken up late, again. my mom had came in and rushed me awake, I jumped up and just kinda sat on my bed for five minutes watching my toes wiggle. I soon got out of bed and jumped into a pair of black skinny jeans and a blue button up. 

"There better be some people there I can fool around with."I needed sometype of love at all times wether it was a one night stand or a full blown relationship, my parents loved me to pieces but they wanted me to be the perfect child and I never could do that, I tried my best but I never gave them what they wanted, I couldn't give them perfect marks in school like they wanted so they can tell all their friends how good of a son I am, the only thing I could do that would possibly make my marks UNI go up would be slightly flirting with the teachers that I knew wouldn't tell or get me suspended. My words would always be in a tone that anybody would swoon over, I just wanted someone that I didn't need to be like that with. I didn't want to be someone I'm not around someone I could love.

After spending ten minutes fixing my hair and the awkward semi straight pieces I grabbed my bag and left without speaking to my parents. Like most mornings.

The walk was long seeing that the Starbucks I was walking to was farther away from my house then I wish it was, but it was the closest so I guess it wasn't to bad, since I like longer walks, all the music i can use to block out all the noise of the early mornings and all the looks I get from both girls and guys, most people considered me an attractive person but I  just thought of myself as pretty, I never did really think of myself as, 

"goals!" 

"sexy" 

"boyfriend material" whatever that means.

I was a bisexual person along with being a pretty open minded person, and to be honest I would date a guy if I cared enough, in fact my second last ex was a guy, I really cared about him but I guess he just wanted Instagram fame, affection and had an addiction to gambling peoples feelings.

A song I really enjoy came on and a smile spread right across my face in 0.5 seconds, it was called 'All Time Low' from a guy called Jon Bellion and it gives me 'good vibes' as everyone would say, I pulled my phone out to put the song on repeat and once I did I reached the Starbucks I was looking for.

I ordered the seasonally appropriate drink, Pumpkin Spice Latte and a cake pop because they looked adorable, and i like adorable things paid. I for my things and went to my seat. The big red chairs made me feel like royalty and everyone treating me like it helped quite a lot I guess. 

I sat there for about 20 minutes before I felt something or probably a  someone walk in, now quite a lot of people walked in since i sat down but I felt like I had to look up at this one, he was tall, skinny, brown haired and wearing a lot of black. I didn't get to see his face right away because he went straight to a register. but when I did I had to catch my breath, it was gorgeous, brown eyes matching his hair and clear, soft looking tan skin along with ear piercing in both ears. 

He was basically perfect. Scratch that,

He was perfect.

He looked at me and I smiled, we did that for a while, passing and sharing glances,kind of like a conversation, but without words. As I was just to nervous to go talk to him, after a while I was starting to blush, he was adorable. I just hoped he was gay, or at least bisexual.

After about twenty minutes of looking at each other he looked at his phone and lost his perfect little  smile, packed up his things and gave me one last longer sad glance, my smile left my face pretty quick, I really liked this guy.

After he left I stayed sitting there trying to find him, anywhere, any social media, I just needed something. After countless fails I packed up and left the Starbucks. 

I got a taxi to school because I didn't feel like walking anymore than I already did this morning meaning I got to school within 5 minutes. Once I arrived I sat down in front of the door with a couple of my friends Chris and Peej. People kept coming at the very minute but there was only one person I had been looking for, I didn't know if he even went here but I kept looking, just in case. After a while I kinda stopped looking as much and of course the second my hope starts slipping through my fingers, 

I see him I see his shoes, his legs, his arms, his hair, and lastly his eyes. He didn't look at me but he was looking at everyone else looking at him, maybe they all thought he was a beautiful as I do. 

Then what happened next was painful to see. A guy walked behind him and said something to him I don't what but it was bad enough for him to turn around and yell at him, he said stuff about being worthless and wanting to die, I was on the bridge of tears when he turned around and seen me standing at the top of the stairway and just walked passed me. I wish I did something to that guy.

After I found my homeroom and which classes I have I needed to go back to the office because my schedule was messed up. I sat there for a while with the present memories playing back in my head i just wanted to know who he was. 

I ran my fingers through my hair with my arms resting on my lap, why was I so torn up about this?

So torn up over a guy I haven't even met before.

 Im going to change that, no matter how long it took.