Cracked Up •Phan•

1% healed

Dans P.O.V

Today was my first day of class so I put an effort into how I looked today, well kinda. I put on a muse tee, black skinny jeans and my black and grey hoodie, I don't know why i never wore much colour but i guess if i was asked id say its because I'm trying to blend into the dully coloured society, but most people wouldn't understand. I did my hair, grabbed my earphones and shoes like every other morning  and left. This time I didn't go to Starbucks, I just kept walking until I reached the school. 

Since my class didn't start for another half hour i sat on the ground outside the building for a while listening to music and doing some light reading. Light because people tend to throw things at me or speak to me.

People walked passed and looked a me, probably because of my resent lash out, which I really don't regret, he deserved to know what he did to me. I didn't really pay much attention to who walked past until i seen him. The guy i call pretty boy because i don't know his real name and that boy had a pretty face, well, does have a pretty face. He walked past me and gave me a quick glance before I noticed him, he was wearing a blue sonic t-shirt, so he's a gamer, nice. I checked the time, and noticed it was time to start my first class of the year, I stood up and walked to class.

I walked through the door and noticed that pretty boy was sat in a seat in the front of the class, surprising. I walked to a seat third row to the front and a seat over from him. the professor  did roll call which gave me sweet memories of grade school when i didn't have a care in the world other than wondering what cartoons were gonna be on on Saturday morning and if my hamster somehow escaped the cage again.

"Phil Lester?" he finally got somewhere I wanted, I kept my eye on him just waiting for the professor to say his name just so I could learn his name, I hated calling him, or at least mentally calling him pretty boy. 

"Um, here." he even had a nice tone to his voice, and my stomach did a little flip, then I mentally slapped myself because how could I love someone I sadly don't even know? 

I couldn't, could I? I mean all I knew bout him was that he was attractive and his name is Phil Lester, how could I possibly love him. I'm basing it all on a few glances in Starbucks and his looks, this isn't what I'm like. What's happening?

Class was pretty boring today as we only went over the course outlines, how our tests are going to be marked, and when our exams are, it was pretty boring sense I knew most of it because my mother does her research on everything I mention to her, I almost fell asleep, but phil didn't.

Soon enough lunch came, and sense I have one other class after lunch today I walked to the cafeteria which looked pretty chill to me, it had a pool table, a ping pong table, some big black leather chairs and plastic cafeteria tables. it also had the cafe, where the food was, obviously. But I had little to no money so I settled with some bad tasting ham sandwich and a bottle of pepsi, I turned on Hotel Books and opened my book, minding my own business until. 

"Hi." I felt someone plop down across from me, and without looking up I just said, 

"Hi." I then put my book in my bag and looked up to see a smiling Phil Lester, my heart instantly dropped to my stomach and I felt my face slowly heat up, this had to be a dream. I was dreaming right?

See things like this don't happen to people like me. I have never had a guy as perfect as him want to be in the same room as me, let alone want to talk to me.

By now I was looking around, watching for a group of people giggling and recording the amazing Phil Lester talk to a puny weak person like me. I know it had to be set up, I was starting to get worried, look around faster, my breath grew faster, I didn't want to be laughed at. 

"Hey, don't look at them, just me." He was looking me in the eye with wide caring open eyes and I felt my heartbeat slow down a little bit and I could feel the room stop spinning, what was he doing to me?

"Thanks." I spoke at a whisper looking down at the table, I had no idea what to say. I was frozen.

"What are you thanking me for? I didn't really do anything." I don't understand why he was still sitting at my table at this point, I feel like a joke, like I'm dreaming, or I'm dead, wouldn't be surprised. 

"Um, I don't know, um just, calming me down I guess." At his point I gave up, if it was a joke, it was the most amazing joke anybody has ever played on me and I don't regret it at all, I look up at Phil to see his beautiful face already looking in my direction, his eyes were fixed on me and he had a little smile growing on his face, I asked him why he was smiling and he chuckled a little bit. 

"You're really cute you know that?" Yup, this was a joke. I could feel myself grow red, I honestly was having the best time of my life just speaking two sentences to this guy. Even if it was a joke.

We talked for a few minutes after that, just about things like how one of the reasons he came over was because of the shirt, and how cute I was at Starbucks. I just told him that the only reason I replied is because I seen sonic and instantly thought that he couldn't possibly be a serial killer and that serial killers don't have that kind of smile. 

I was oddly being slightly self confident.

I was talking to this guy, to the guy that stared at me the entire time iI screamed at my worst enemy, the same guy who wouldn't stop staring at me in Starbucks, the same guy who told me to stare at him to calm my nerves. 

He promised to meet me at the same table tomorrow, and I agreed that it would be great. 

And it was.

After lunch in class I just couldn't keep my mind off what happened at lunch time and I couldn't help but smile. 

The whole walk home I was smiling and noticing things I haven't before because i'm always looking at the ground. I Felt good in that moment, and every moment after that one.

Maybe these three months won't be so bad after all.