The Bad-Boy Saw Me Naked

Me, Myself And Maybe Josh?

G-EAZY GIVES ME LIFE, ASFFHJL

*+*+*+*+*+

*Avery's POV*

~*~

All I could think about was that stupid redhead, and what she was to Josh. He clearly recognized her right before she stuck her tongue down his throat. I had never seen her in my life, and I didn't know anything about Josh's life before he moved here, since he barely talked about his life back in California. My phone buzzes once again and I turn up my music instead. G - Eazy's "Me, Myself and I" is on repeat and it's given me enough confidence to stop crying but I still can't pick up the phone. It's been two days since the dance and I haven't picked up anyone's texts or calls. My phone buzzes and I finally get annoyed and pick it up, not bothering to check the called ID.

"Hello?" I ask, irritated.
"Avery, thank god you picked up! I've been going crazy, is everything okay?" Josh says and I sigh.
"No, now go back to your redhead." I say and hang up.

Suddenly the door to my room bangs open and I jump back in surprise. "Right... you're my neighbor." I say and Josh looks pointy at me.

"What you saw with the redhead was fake. Well, I mean, it was real but it didn't mean anything." Josh tries to explain.
"Josh, just... get out." I say and he shakes his head.
"No. I won't get out. Not without you listening to what I have to say first." Josh says and I sigh.
"Who you saw, her name is Riley. She and I we used to be... anyway , she's someone I know from California." Josh says.
"Did you guys go out or something?" I ask, even though I'm not sure I want to know.
"Or something.." Josh says, sighing.

I resist the urge to roll my eyes and then snap. "What was she, Josh?"
"Are you sure you want to know..?" Josh asks me and my heart races.
"Josh, I know nothing about you. I want to know your story." I say and Josh nods and then sits down on my bed.

"Since I could remember, I've only had one best friend, and his name is Jefferey. We've been best friends for a long time and then in 7th grade, we met Riley. She was the first girl I became friends with because honestly, girls kinda scared me. Then high school came." Josh says and puts his elbows on his knees, intertwining his hands. "I met many girls then and well, I had sex with almost all of then. That was the year Riley befriended Ava. It was different, having another girl in the group. None of us were used to it since Riley was the only girl any of us considered a friend." Josh avoids my gaze and sighs deeply.

"Ava was like the exact opposite of Riley. She liked staying hidden, hated the spotlight while Riley couldn't get enough of the spotlight. I guess that's what drew me into Ava. The fact that even though she didn't want to be seen, I always saw her. So we started going out the middle of our sophomore year. And everything was fine, great; even." He smiled a bit. "But, I liked sex." He said bluntly. "And Ava couldn't give that to me, or anyone for that matter. She wanted to wait till marriage. And I respected that.. at first. Then, I tried to get her to have sex with me. When I finally realized she wasn't gonna put out, I called Riley." He turns slightly pale but he continues.

"I won't beat around the bush anymore. We fucked. And we did it as frequently as possible. Most of the time, we were drunk or high. We were practically never sober when me and her were together alone. Then as time went on, I kinda drifted from Ava. Then it was the night of the party. I knew most of the guys there and I was gonna go. But everyone else wanted to go with me. Jay, Jefferey, Riley, Ava and Jack. I told them not to. They didn't listen. Ava found out about me and Riley and she started to go outside. Then they started shooting up the place. They were drug dealers who wanted to collect money from the guys I knew. Ava and Jack were hurt. They both died at the hospital." Josh's voice cracks at the end.

"I remember that Emma went to California around that time." I say and he nods.
"Yeah, Ava and Emma were cousins." He explains and now it's my turn to nod.
"And although Emma swears I wasn't at the funeral, I was. Of course I went. Ava was my girlfriend and well, although I didn't sit with all the people close to her. I was in the back." Josh turns to me now, his eyes red.
"Wait, are you crying?" I can't help but ask. As far as I knew, Josh didn't cry, like, at all. So, this was pretty much a huge shock to me. Josh laughs and shakes his head. "No, I'm not crying."

"After Ava died, I turned to drugs and liquor. More than usual. Then, halfway into our junior year, I OD'D. James found me, on my bed, barely conscience. I was shoved in rehab by my lovely parents and that's the real reason why my parents moved us here. Sure, my mother wanted to connect to her roots but she wanted a fresh start from everything. Like the purge. 'Clean our bloodline from the drama.' So to speak." Josh avoids my gaze again and I feel the tears pricking in the back of my eyes.

Josh almost died last year. Josh almost died last year. Josh almost died last - . Josh almost died. Josh. Almost. Died.

It keeps swimming around in my head and I just can't wrap my head around it. It just doesn't seem like the Josh that I know. But then again, I didn't know any of this stuff.

I carefully place my hand on Josh's shoulder. "How can you even stand touching me? I must disgust you, Avery." Josh says.
"Everyone has baggage that they carry." I explain.
Josh shakes his head. "Not as much as I do." He scoffs.
"It's not a race to see who has more baggage. This, this is a part of you. It's your history." I say.
"Might be the worst history in the world." Josh laughs bitterly.
"Can't be worse than World War II." I mumble and he laughs, genuinely now.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't laugh because its not funny but like, it's funny." Josh says and I giggle softly.

I sigh. "Look, Josh. I believe you. And, I want to forgive you. But, in a way, you cheated. And I've had a cheating boyfriend. And well, it doesn't really help that you have a history of cheating." I bite my lip.
"I know, I know. And I'll give you all the time you need. Just, don't take too long." Josh says and I laugh.
"I'll try, kid. I'll try." I say.

^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*

a.n / soooooo, 2016? already? the hell?!?

anywaysssss, MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR YOU GUYS!!!!!

My sleeping schedule is so f'ed up rn, like, an update at almost 2 am just because i cant sleep, ya welcome btw.