Saved By Mikey Way

Chapter 17: Why Are You Doing This?!

"What are you?" I asked painfully. My head filled with things I didn't know before nor do I want to know now. Joey lookedd down at me. Her gaze locked on me and nothing else. My body shivered and coiled. She knelt down and smirked. Then all of a sudden the memories just stopped. Silence filled the air that twisted around me. I still was shaking and my body was soaked with sweat. I was so cold. I could see my breath on the air.

"Do you not remember?" She asked curiously. I saw her breath on the cold air. I pulled my eye brows together in confusion. I shook my head slowly and narrowed my eyes at her. She made a twisted face.

"I'd thought you'd figured it out by now." She said then sighed and stood up straight. She grabbed my shirt and pulled me to my feet. I stumbled slightly and I felt dizzy. I noted that something was happening around us. The room was changing. We stood in an unfermilure living room with people sitting around talking. I recongnized many faces, even my own. I looked to be about twenty six maybe twenty seven. I had the short black hair. I was leaning against Frank. We were seated on the couch. Gerard sat in the love seat with LynZ on his lap. Mikey sat across the room at the computer. Ray was seated on the floor. And some one was sitting beside Frank and me on the couch. She had long brown hair. It was Joey sitting there. She seemed to not be acknowledged by any of us. I was able to hear what we were talking about.

"When me andI my little brothers; the twins. We were playing outside one winter and we knew that we weren't allowed by the road but the boys want to go there because of the best snow fort building snow." I heard my own voice begin this horrific story. God I hate my voice. I stepped closer to the scene. No one seemed to notice me, it's like I'm a ghost.

"They wanted to but something let me know that if I did the'd get hurt. So I told them 'no'. They went anyways, so I went and told my parents. They got the older boys to gang up on me, they locked me out in the cold for three whole hours." The other me said. I remembered that. It was clear as a bell.

"I wish I could go back and change that, better yet. I wish I could go back and change my whole past so instead of being unhappy I'll be happy and free to be who I am." I saw myself get shivers as she . . .I . . .me. The other me said that. She looked around nervously s if trying to find something. Then the room began to change again. This time we were outdoors. I saw me and Joey talking by the big maple tree in the front yard at my old house. It was winter and things seemed older. I saw three little kids go running from the front porch. Two boys, one girl. Me. I was eight maybe nine. I looked back at Joey and the third me talking. Joey was no longer there and I was watching this. I watched in horror as the other me pulled the little me behind a tree. The two boys fooled around happily throwing snow at eachother. I could hear what the two mes were talking about.

"Kid, don't worry I'm not going to hurt you." I heard myself whisper. The words made my already freezing body shiver more.

"Do not let your brothers any where near the road." I threatened. More happened but it was hard to hear and I was becoming more and more tired. I saved my little brothers. Not younger me, but older me. This is getting way weird. I looked back at Joey with confused eyes. She stood there watching me carefuly. I felt my heart break as I realized that the life that could have been wasn't real. It was the way it was because I saved my little brothers. My brother were supposed to get hit by that car and die. My parents were supposed to split and I was supposed to go to Belleville. So the life I've been chasing isn't my life. I'm supposed to be with Mikey, not Frank. I dropped to my knees and just sat there looking aimlessly. I felt empty and lonesome.My hands wandered around and jerked away as they met a piece of glass in the snow. I wrapped my cold and wet figures around it tightly.

"Why'd you bring me here?" I asked softly. Joey looked down at me again and sighed.

"You needed to know." She muttered. I felt tears roll down my cheeks.

"So that dream I had all those years ago about saving my little brothers wasn't a dream at all." I added. Joey nodded.

"Some how you were able to jump to the past and save them but when you did, you tore your life in two." She said sullenly.

"And I ended up going with Frank, instead of Mikey." I uttered softly. I saw my faint breath on the cold winter's air. I remembered today, but not as today like now but as a girl. When the boys got hit I saw someone standing by the big maple tree. Joey.

"What if, this is what was supposed to happen. I mean like me jumping back to the past and saving my brothers. That means I'm still with Frank and not Mikey." I whispered. I began to put the puzzel pieces together. Things started to get more clearer. I was able to see more. The bigger picture. The dreams, they've been pulling me deeper into this. Every time I get close to finding out what's going on, it just pulls me in deeper and deeper.

"What if this isn't my destiny?" I asked a bit more firmly. I began to get up to my feet. I held in my hand a piece of glass

"What if this is just a dream?" I asked and brought the glass up to my neck. Before I knew it I was back on the ground with blood red snow around me, I couldn't breath. I closed my eyes and opened them again to see. . . .