Chocolate

Seventeen

A/N: I just love this song so much and you can listen to it while reading this if ya like... ((:

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These past days, almost 2 weeks, Camila have been getting nightmares that didn't seem to stop but gets worse as each days passed. She didn't know what made it suddenly go back (not that she expected it not to.) It was like she went back back to square one, the time when she locks herself inside her room the whole day and not let anybody in her room — not even Jake. It was as though Sofi didn't want to leave her alone but Camila didn't blame her, she would never. She is a part of the reason why Camila was like this but it wasn't her fault, it was Camila's (that's what she thinks anyway). She chose to be like this, if she could just move on from it then she would have lived a better life. What she hated the most was that people kept giving her those pity looks... It kind of just pisses her off sometimes and she didn't know why.

Lauren had been worried sick and tried to visit her to check if she was okay but she refused, telling or rather, texting her that she was just sick and didn't want her to catch it. Lauren didn't believe her but however she stopped bothering her for a whole two weeks and hung out more with her friends instead. Maybe Camila's just needed an alone time. Though, she was saddened at the fact that she completely missed the dance. She didn't know what was wrong or why she didn't come but hopefully she was fine, she really missed her though.

She was actually going to tell her that Luis and her had finally made up but that's not what she exactly wanted. It was hard to be with someone when you wanted to be with someone else, especially when that kiss meant something to Lauren.

Although, she didn't know why she didn't just break with him. Luis treats Lauren right and She wasn't ready to let him go yet especially when Camila hadn't made any move (other than that kiss that they never talked about again.) to prove that she really do like Lauren. She didn't want to lose two persons at less than a month because she was pretty sure there was only a slight chance that Luis and her would stay in contact as friends.

She wasn't sure if Camila likes her and it really be awkward if Lauren told her her feelings just to be told that she didn't like her that way, but she didn't want to make the move either. She was already mentally cheating on Luis and it's not right.

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Meanwhile, Camila was gazing out her window in side her room with tears teaming down her face freely, attempting to forget those hurtful words running through her head. The students in her school had somehow found her old Twitter account and it so happened that Camila went to check it out and saw those direct messages they sent her. She thought people never noticed her, she was literally like a ghost in school — she was just there but maybe it changed after interacting more with Lauren.

People that she didn't remember following, she was already following. They must have gotten into her account and sent her messages that she shouldn't be believing in or even be reading but she just can't help it, her curiosity got to her and it just hurts. Most messages didn't make sense especially when she doesn't even interact with much people, but some definitely got into her. Especially from Luis and she knows she shouldn't be listening to anything he was saying but she just can't help it.

Those messages involved Lauren and her sexuality too, how she would never be good enough for her  —Which was true, by the way. And dyke? Camila had found that word offensive for her, especially when she isn't one and Even if she was, it was still offensive.

She felt a bit guilty. if Lauren would just stop hanging out with her, she wouldn't be ruining her reputation. But she figured that Lauren was already trying to avoid her. After all, it had been two weeks since they last talked and not once did she check if she was okay.