With You

Chapter 20

When I open my eyes I'm startled by the figure that's sitting on the edge of my bed.

"You scared me. I forgot you had my spare key."

Josh ignores my comment and shakes his head at me. "You look like shit. You're lucky we're family or I wouldn't be dealing with you right now."

I thought I cried myself a couple of hours ago but I guess not because the tears come again. Have you ever cried so much to the point where the skin under your eyelids starts to sting? That's exactly what I'm going through.

When Josh sees my tears he starts feeling bad. "Lynn, I'm not trying to make you cry. I'm just disappointed in you. Tyler doesn't deserve any of this."

I wipe my eyes lightly because it hurts when I do it a normal speed. "I know. I fucked up. I don't know what to do. How long have you been here?"

"For about two hours. I was gonna wake you but it looked like you just went to sleep."

I sniff. "I did."

He scoots closer and hugs me. "You have to tell him it's only right," he whispers.

I give him a sad look because I know he's right. "I'll tell him during spring break."

He briefly closes his eyes and shakes his head. "That's a month from now. You can't wait that long. He's called you twice since I've been here."

I search my phone but see that Josh hooked it up to my computer. "Did you answer?"

He walks over and grabs it for me. "Yeah, I told him we went to a party and you stayed over the house with me."

I thank him. He walks over to my couch and finds a movie. "Yeah. You're lucky you're my favorite cousin. Stay away from Zayden, Lynn and you have to tell Tyler. The longer you wait the worse it's gonna get. Trust me."

I walk into the bathroom and sit on the tub. I'm not even interested in looking at my reflection right now. I'm so ashamed of myself. I call Tyler back and prepare myself to tell him what happened.

"Hi baby," he answers on the second ring.

"Hey," I croak.

"Did you have a great time at the party?"

"Yeah. It reminded me of yours."

He laughs into the phone. "Yeah. That was a great party. You know why?"

"No."

"I met the most beautiful girl ever that night."

I painfully close me eyes. I have to be one of the worst girlfriends ever.

"You were so pretty and it was so funny seeing you drunk. I think about it all the time. If I could go back to that night I would."

"Me too. I'd change the part where I puked everywhere."

"Nah," he dismisses me. "That's my favorite part. You were so embarrassed but you tried to play it cool in front of me."

"Yeah," I try to laugh but it doesn't work out. I'm glad Tyler doesn't notice.

"I'm so grateful for you, Addy. You changed me for the better and I love that about you. You have a big heart. Since I've been with you I've expressed myself more than I ever have in my life. You're the greatest thing that has ever happened to me."

Of course he would pick now to express his feelings for me.

Scratch that. I'm the worst girlfriend of all time.

"I love you, Tyler but seriously where is all of this coming from."

"I've been doing some thinking and I wanted to let you know that I really do appreciate you."

"That means a lot to me, babe."

"Glad to hear it. Anyways, I'll text you later. I have to meet up with my study group. I'm already fifteen minutes late but I'd be late to anything for you."

That makes me cry even more. We say our goodbyes and I sit in the bathroom for a few more minutes.

"So, how'd he take it," Josh asks.

"Not so good," I lie. "I'll give him some space."

Josh pats the spot next to him and I walk over to the couch. I know I should've told Tyler but I just couldn't bring myself to do it and especially not over the phone. Zayden's text me six times since last night but I blocked him.

To keep my mind off of things I ask Josh everything about the draft and he's more than welcomed to give me information about it. We hang out all day and night and we I see that it's one in the morning I ask him if he's going home.

"Nah, I'll sleepover with you. We can watch movies all night like the old days."

I know he's staying to keep my mind off of things and I love him even more for that.

"I know what you're doing and thank you so much."

He smiles at me. "I'm only a phone call away, and you're welcome. I'll always be here for you, even if no one else is."

Around three I get up from the couch and give Josh a pillow and extra blanket. He sleeps at the bottom of the bed and I sleep at the top.

"Goodnight, Josh. I love you"

He yawns. "Good morning, Lynn. I love you too. Get some rest."