Pre-School [Jerrie AU]

3: Remembering Sam

-Jade-

"Mummy, I think Miss Perrie would like to talk to you in the morning." Arabella tells me as I buckle her into her car seat.

"I will, baby. I need to see how you were yesterday!" I say, tickling her and shutting the car door. "And ask her more details on our date." I mutter, getting into the drivers seat.

"Mummmmmmmmyyyyyy I love you, did you know that?" Bella sings.

"Yes, Bella. And I love you too." I say with a sigh, turning up the car radio.

"SHUT UP AND DANCE WITH ME, THIS WOMAN IS MY DESTINY, SHE SAID OOOOOH SHUT UP AND DANCE WITH ME!" Bella screams.

Once the song is over, we finally arrived at Arabella's pre-school.

I unbuckle Bella and she jumps out of the car, grabbing her backpack and running to the entrance of the preschool.

"Miss Perrie!" Bella shreiks, hugging Perrie.

"Hello Arabella!" Perrie hugs her back. "You can go play with your friends while I talk to your mummy, okay?"

Bella nods, running over, happily, to her friends.

"Hi Jade." Perrie smiles, rubbing her arm, making me blush quite a lot. It was a small and cute gesture, so.

"Hi Perrie." I smile shyly.

"Um, so I was thinking we could go to a restaurant or something, yeah? Does that um.. sound good to you?" Perrie offers.

"Uh, yeah, sounds good," I smile, "When will we be going?" I add.

"I was thinking tomorrow? If that's okay with you, of course.." Perrie says.

"Yeah, that's fine, but, uh, just don't tell anything to my mum. She took your number out of Bella's folder and basically she doesn't know.." I say. "She just uh.. can't know right now. Trying to get things situated and yeah haha." I add, though none of that might've made sense to her.

"Yeah. Me mum found out a couple of years ago when I went out with a girl in the 10th year." Perrie says. So maybe she did know what I meant.

"Oh. Well I dated this great guy for a couple of years, then after uni, we got Bella and a bit later we got engaged and then..." I wipe away a tear that slipped down my cheek from my eye with my hand.

"Hey, Jade, its okay," Perrie says, rubbing my back, "What's wrong?"

"He... He got in a serious accident and he..." I sobbed, but tried my best to contain myself, not wanting to act like a big baby.

"Oh, poor baby." Perrie hugs me, rubbing my back.

Too late.

"I-I'm okay. I have to go to work now, I'll see you tomorrow Perrie." I say, wiping my eyes, and faking a small smile.

"Okay, see you later Jade," Perrie smiles.

I walk out of the school, bursting into tears once again.

It's been 3 years since Sam died and I still can't get over him. It's always so hard to deal with the death of a loved one, but someone who you got engaged with and were going to marry? Very hard.

I think I can make a small detour before work.

I get into my car, driving the oh-so-familiar road to Sam's gravestone.

Sam Craske

1990 - 2012

Loving son, brother, fiancé, and father.

May he rest in peace.

I wipe my tears, pulling the necklace out from inside my dress.

Sam and Jade

2008 - ∞

The locket he gave me when Arabella was born.

Come on Jade, you're tougher than this.

I take a deep breath, tucking the necklace back inside my dress and walking back to my car, driving to work. It's kind of starting to hit me a lot. When he passed, it hit me, but I was pushing away reality. But now that I think about it..

Sam's gone.

He's gone. Forever.

He's not coming back. He never will. He's dead. He can't and he won't come back ever again.

Just give up on him Jade.

You're never going to find anyone as good as him ever again. Not even Perrie. Okay, maybe Perrie. But Sam and Perrie aren't the same.

Nor will they ever be..

•
-

Later on that day, I decided it'd be a good idea to text Perrie. Though it was weird and kind of stupid, I wanted to apologize for crying earlier today.. because I hate crying in front of people and I feel that it makes me sounds so dramatic. Overly dramatic.

And that is definitely not how I want to be to anyone. Especially Perrie.

Love was just a sad, hard, and confusing subject for me now. It was hard to think about love, because the first word that pops into my head when I hear the word love as in relationships, marriage, excetra, is and might always be, Sam.

Maybe one day that can change, and maybe when I hear the word love, the first thing to pop into my head can be Perrie. One day.. I hope.

Jade: Perrie ?

And a few minutes later, she responded, causing me to smile, because she responded ever so quickly.

Perrie: Hi Jade☺ You alright ? From.. earlier ?

Jade: That's exactly what I wanted to talk about.

It was as if Perrie had just read my mind..

Perrie: Oh ? That's fine ! :) What is it ?

Jade: Sorry for crying.. then. It was just instinctive and yeah.. I swear I'm a drama queen

Perrie: No Jadeee it's fine !! 100%, trust me. Nobody is always ok. It's ok to not be ok Jade :) especially thinking about .. that stuff. I would've cried too if .. ya know. It's all good☺

I smiled at my phone, reading the short paragraph over a few times. Perrie really knows what to say. It helped a lot.

Jade: Aha ok :) thanks for everything Perrie

Perrie: No problem♥ details on the date.. I'll text you when I'm out of work ? The kids are coming back from their music class now..

Jade: Oh alright haha I have to get back to work too anyways. Bye Perrie x

I didn't wait for her response as I turned off my phone and got back to work, a big smile not leaving my face because of a certain girl named Perrie Edwards.

[february 5, 2016]

A/N:

Hey guys!

I had such an eventful day yesterday aha (:

Well, love you all!

And I got a snow day (:

Aha bye xx lia