Redemption (Dudley Dursley)

VII. Dudley & Petunia.

As much as he would like to say he had saw it coming, he quite simply couldn't. Vernon and Petunia had been married for twenty-three years and yet Petunia was the one who was throwing it all away. Dudley couldn't help himself but think he had some contribution to everything, despite knowing that he couldn't have done anything. There is only one thing that Dudley hates more than feeling guilty- and that is feeling responsible.

Whenever he says this, a lot of people avoid him because they think he doesn't like being responsible as a person. This is not the case though. Dudley hates feeling responsible for something even if he had no part in it. At times he can see that it comes from his upbringing. He was always the centre of attention, Harry not even second and it makes him grimace in hatred at his younger self for being so selfish. At the moment, Dudley felt like his choice to get in touch with Harry willingly had been the catalyst to the explosion that had just happened downstairs.

For a few minutes he had just stood behind Petunia, his mouth hanging open in shock. Once it had somewhat sunk in, he walked upstairs and into his childhood bedroom. Felicity had taken one look at him after he came upstairs and she knew that something had happened. He felt like crying honestly, but the tears were refusing to come. Dudley supposes this is simply down to the fact that despite his parents constantly arguing as of late, he didn't expect this. It was as if a bomb had been dropped and him witnessing the catastrophe- the bomb in question being his parent's explosive argument.

He was scared to speak because he knew that if he did the tears would be streaming from his eyes in numerous tiny waterfalls and he hated people seeing him cry. To him it was always a sign of weakness, but he knows that even the strongest person in the world breaks on occasion. Felicity was still staring at him but she seemed to accept that he wasn't going to tell her- she understood that he was simply in a huge state of shock. It was like his brain was wiring itself differently to how it should be and it was stopping him from feeling any kind of emotion.

Dudley didn't know whether to be happy for Petunia getting rid of his controlling dad. He didn't know whether to be sad concerning his parents were getting divorced. He didn't know if he should feel angry with Vernon's comments towards his fiancé. He just didn't know what to do in it all and this is what was frustrating him. Dudley hates to admit it, but he did inherit a lot of Vernon's traits- control being one of them. He liked to be in control but he didn't abuse it unlike his dad, he liked to be in control to use it for the better.

He wasn't counting how long he had sat on the edge of the bed for with Felicity's arms wrapped tightly around him although it was clear that she didn't know what kind of comfort he needed either. Felicity had always been able to essentially read Dudley's mind by looking into his eyes- it was something her mum had taught her when she was very young. There were so many conflicting emotions all ranging from fury to annoyed to upset. None of them appeared to be dominant though so there really wasn't much the petite blonde could do to help the man she loves feel better.

He could still hear it- the arguing that was. It had taken Vernon roughly twenty seconds to recover from the shock at Petunia's suggestion before he was spitting insults at her too. It was about then that he knew he shouldn't and couldn't be downstairs and then he had left. All of his adrenaline from a few minutes before had now disappeared and it was like he was inside of a bubble. He felt cut off from everyone. He was vaguely aware of his fiancé's small and pale arms wrapped around him loosely, but he was numb. The floor was muffling the screaming of his parents so he didn't know what was happening or what was being said.

He figures that it has been around ten minutes and that weird ache is still sitting in his stomach, his head completely clouded over to the point that he cannot think straight. There really isn't a time in his life when he has felt something like this so Dudley doesn't know how to deal with it. He has heard from friends who have been there to witness a family member's marriage break down and they had all told him that everyone reacts differently to the situation.