The Chosen Ones (BxB)

Chapter 31

Chapter 31

I found out that Shawn's boyfriend's name is Matthew. Not that I'm interested on knowing his name. I try my hardest to accept the fact that Shawn has a boyfriend, and it's not me. I'd be the mistress of if I ever got involved with him again and I don't want that. It hurts me to see them together, holding hands. Everytime my eyes would meet Shawn's, I'd avert my gaze so he wouldn't see how it pains me to see them together. As much as I want Shawn for myself, I can't. Shawn belongs to Matthew and he doesn't belong to me. I was just a fling to him. I'm so stupid on letting him enter my heart. I didn't have any idea that I'd just get broken. If I had, I wouldn't have let him. I wouldn't have let my walls down for him. We could have just remained friends though.

Matthew seems like a really good guy and there's only one reason for me to hate him; Shawn belongs to him. But despite that reason, I can't. I'm not going to low myself just because someone's happy to see his boyfriend. Boyfriend. Shawn is not my boyfriend anymore. I don't even know if we have been boyfriends. He claimed me as his and I wanted that, but right now, it's time to claim myself back.

Not so surprising, Ivan hates Matthew so much to the point that he wants him dead. Feisty, but he's crossing the line. In fact, Ivan and I are on good terms now, considering the fact that we've been fooled. Oops, that I've been fooled. Ivan is not so bad after all.

"Look at those legs, what did Shawn see in him in the first place?" Ivan says to me as he motions his hand to Matthew's legs. There's nothing wrong with Matthew's legs. To be honest, it's kind of perfect. They are perfect for each other. "I mean, I'd rather let Shawn be with you and not with him. I mean, don't thank me and don't flatter yourself. But if Shawn's not going to be mine, then I'd like Shawn to be with you and not with some loser palooza."

I burst out laughing even though there's a pain in my chest. I try my hardest to make everything lighter, to make my world brighter now that Shawn has been gone around me.

"Oh my God, Ivan!" I say to him and push him away lightly. Surprisingly, he joins me and to those people, we probably look like we're crazy. But we don't care. Ivan is really pretty cool. Shawn's eyes flicker to our direction and I see jealousy ignites in his eyes, but then he masks it away as he stares at us emotionless. I don't freaking care. "Loser palooza. That's a nice word you got."

"Can you think of something else?" He asks me daringly, crossing his arms over his chest and I put my finger underneath my chin and think of the best insult that I can think of.

"Maybe Pussy Man." As soon as those words escape my lips, both him and I burst out laughing again, this time, with our hands hitting our knees and trying to hold ourselves. "That's the world's most lame insult ever. Oh hey, Pussy Man. How are you doing, Pussy Man? Have you already taken a shower Pussy Man?"

"Stop that!" Ivan tries not to laugh harder but fails to do so. "God, you're killing me! You're not so bad after all. Sorry if I was mean to you and thanks for saving me. Friends?"

"Friends," I say to him. Ivan offers his hand for me to take and I gladly accept his hand, shaking it firm. "Okay, now that we're friends. Let's move on about the past, okay? Shawn doesn't deserve us. Neither of us deserve him. Although it hurts me to see him with the Loser Palooza the Pussy Man, I have to accept the fact that Shawn will never be mine. As much as I hate to admit it, but I think I'm in love with him. Shawn's the first guy I've ever really loved, but he broke the trust I had on him. But anyways, like the girls usually say, there are a lot of fishes in the sea."

"Yeah, might catch a shark. Roar." Ivan says with teasing voice, making a roar expression. I shake my head at him and look down, and then a sad expression suddenly appears on my face. Shawn will never be mine now that his boyfriend is here. "Cheer up, buddy. You still have Brent. I mean, that guy, I swear, I think he's the best for you. I'm surprised that he's not comforting you right now."

"I guess he's avoiding me," I admit to Ivan, looking at him. He frowns for a bit, confusion etched on his face. "He confessed to me that he liked me. And I think he's avoiding me because he thought, thinks, that I chose Shawn over him. Which I did somehow. But right now, I'm taking that decision back. I should have known from the start that Brent is way better than Shawn. Brent has told me everything, the truth, whereas Shawn... he lied to me."

"I fucking did not lie to you, Dylan!" Both Ivan and I's head whip to Shawn's figure. He has an angry expression plastered on his face and as much as I want to look away and not admire his beauty, it feels like my eyes have its own brain. I can't move my eyes and look at other things. My heart beats faster, not because I'm afraid of him, but because he's near to me. He has this effect on me and somehow, I think that will never change. Although I'll try my best to try to change it.

Ivan scoffs and rolls his eyes. Shawn looks at him with hatred in his eyes and growls. I'm not really intelligent like Beige or Cooper, but from what I understand from his growl, it means back off or else I'll kill you.

Ivan, being a bitch he is, taunts Shawn. "And what do you call that? Hiding? What is this? A fucking game. You know you're an asshole, Shawn. I'm pretty sure you get told a lot of that, but what you did to us, I'm sorry, to Dylan. It's fucking fuckity... ugh, I don't even know how to describe what you've done. You lied to him, Shawn. Admit it or not, you lied to him. And you're the worst person I've ever met, beside myself of course, but that's beside the point. You cheated on your boyfriend with Dylan. You acted like Dylan belonged to you when he - "

"Fucking shout your mouth!" Shawn bellows and Ivan immediately shuts up. His eyes are burning with hatred and anger, and it's all towards Ivan. I'm afraid that Shawn would do something to Ivan so I decide to stand up and block Shawn's view with my frame. I glare at him.

"Everything what Ivan said is true, Shawn." I say to him in a whisper but keep my glare on him focused. Tears start to well up in my eyes again and I blink them away, hoping that I wouldn't cry. "I made a wrong decision to choose you. Go back to your boyfriend, I bet he's looking for you right now." I turn around and mutter to Ivan that we can leave now but Shawn's hand wraps around me tight.

"Please, please, please forgive me, Dylan." Shawn says, his tone of voice is sad and my heart clenches. One of the last things I want to hear or see is my love's pleading. "Let's work this out. Ivan's right, I'm the worst person ever. But what Matthew and I had, it's in the past. I though I was still in love with him, but then I saw you, and that's when I knew that I didn't love him anymore. Look at me, Dylan. Please."

"It's all done, Shawn." I say to him, him still hugging me tight. I grab his arms around me and force his arms away from me but to no avail, it's not working. Shawn is much stronger than me. "I don't want to believe anymore. Let's just move on with our lives, yeah?"

As I say those words, a tear slips my left eye and Ivan sees it coming down, but doesn't do anything and I'm glad. I take a step back, which makes Shawn takes a step back and untangles his arms around me. I brush the tears away and sprint forward, leaving Shawn behind. Ivan follows me. What I want right now, I don't know. I want to be alone but at the same time, I want someone to comfort me. The pain I'm in right now can't be compared to when Dad left me for the Journey. This is much more intense. At least, Dad made a promise that he'd come back for us, and I know that he never lies. But Shawn, he led me on. He lied to me. He made me believe that there could be us without anyone being in between us. He made me believe that we could have our own fairy tale, but fairy tales only exist in books, right? There's no such thing in this reality.

I run further, blocking the images of Shawn and I being together and being happy together. It makes me want to cry more. It feels like Shawn really belonged to me and I belonged to him. But it all has to end, and it ended right away. I reach the Training Area, and much to my relief, it's empty and that's when I cry harder than I ever did. The pain is covering my heart right now; very tight and I feel like I have a leash around my neck, making me unable to breath properly.

"Just let it all out," a familiar voice pierces my ears and I look up to see Brent looking at me with sad eyes. "You're messed up right now, but don't worry, I'm always here for you. I don't care if you don't want me here. I'll be here for you. I'll be your bestest friend right now and you can tell me everything. I can't say that you don't deserve him because I don't know. It should be based on what you do to a person, right?"

"Then right now, you deserve me, I think," I say, chuckling, making things light. Brent chuckles at my statement and kisses my forehead. "Just kidding." And then I cry again and Brent hugs me, saying words that make me calm down and once I'm in his arms, I feel safe again.