If He Ever Cries (manxman / boyxboy)

Chapter 6

-Chapter 6-

And I'm shaken then I'm still

When your eyes meet mine I lose simple skills

Like to tell you all I want is now

—Set Down Your Glass, Snow Patrol

The rules were simple. He recalled the man whip finger after finger in the air: do not play with his behind, do not touch more than necessary, do not kiss. Kaiden pulled the reins of his mouth as "Go fuck a priest" dangerously came close to blurt. He held back a laugh. I'll have you know, I'm not just gonna lay there and let you have me.

The air around them was thick with primal lust. Yet the man hadn't jumped Kaiden as he had expected. This stranger, even if he offered Kaiden a double dose of love to come here tonight, was keeping an annoying distance. Because he wasn't gay. Sure. This beast was the same species as Daniel. Yet Daniel wasn't chicken to act on what his body wanted.

Now, if anything surprised him about this man, it was his extravagant taste in places to bring paid entertainment. Was it to show off how much he could afford Kaiden? A hint that he could give him anything he wanted? Or was it like hush money to not tell anyone about his adventures with a gay hooker?

Kaiden didn't linger in those thoughts. It was for just this night. So who cared what material stuff this man could buy? And it wasn't like Kaiden wanted to brag about this anyway.

His favorite feature of the suite was the glass window making up the entire farthest wall of the living room, overlooking city lights and skyscrapers. Similar to his living room back home, but much bigger, on a floor much higher, and from here he could see the sea.

The view of the city from this angle didn't feel any different than from his own place, though. Perhaps because it made him remember the events of that afternoon and the ones after—and his heart squeezed with how deep the wounds still hurt. Dan hasn't called. Kaiden could be in an orgy right now, and Daniel couldn't care less. He put a hand on the glass. They must be somewhere out there having a candle-lit dinner to celebrate their engagement. Did he go down on his knee? He's so handsome. Must have been so romantic. Maybe they'd go for a walk...and he'd give her flowers.

Such romantic gestures never came his way. And he wouldn't want them anyway. Those things are for women. I just want someone to cuddle with. Damn. His forehead touched the window and he closed his eyes. Is it too much to ask for someone I can hold hands with, and introduce to my parents? God, is that so hard to grant? I need someone who loves me back. Can I only dream about those...little bits of heaven?

Jeez. What was he now, a wrist-slitting poet?

Glass clinked against ice behind him, snapping him back to the hotel room and the man whose temple vein pulsated. The man had opened the minibar and was going through the labels, selecting his inhibition suppressor.

Kaiden knew the man's motives to hold back. Every fiber in his body screamed he wanted Kaiden. His bulging crotch testified it. And Kaiden had found him stealing glances when he thought Kaiden wasn't looking. But every neuron frying in his brain bound him in a straitjacket. That was the testimony of the man's eyes.

It was all so familiar.

Kaiden's motives to hold back? Those weren't less contradicting. He didn't jump the man either, but he had blown him in his head many times already. However, sex without love—in the actual physical realm—wasn't acquainted to him. He had to feel something for the other person. After all, as Eric always said, he was a lost cause of romanticism and tragedy. And his dildos did the job just fine.