Heart and Desire (boyxboy)

Chapter Four

Ashton's POV:

"This better be good." Oli said. I cowered at the anger and hatred in his voice.

Pain wrenched at my gut. Seeing Oli like this was killing me. I wasn't sure what I wanted from him; a relationship, a friendship or just a place to stay until things blew over with my parents. I laid next to him on his bed, trying to memorize every detail of his angelic face: the line of his strong jaw; his curved nose, which was slightly crooked from where I'd hit him a few years ago; his scruffy blond hair; his naturally tan skin; the almond eyes, blue in colour, which had captured my heart the first time we met.

I thought back to that day. It was a grizzly Monday morning with grey skies and heavy rain. I had ditched school; a last minute decision. My mum and I had argued that morning because I'd sneaked out the previous night to go to a party. It had made it impossible for me to face going to school and pretending to like my so-called friends. Instead, I'd walked to Starbucks to buy a coffee. I had sat outside the shop, on a wooden bench under a shelter, my school bag down by my feet. I took a few sips of my coffee. I had been sitting in that spot for maybe an hour, mesmerized by the rain, losing myself in thought, my coffee long since finished, when a dark silhouette ran towards the shelter I was under, bundled in a thick, waterproof coat. I tried not to make eye contact with the stranger as I stood up to leave. I leaned over to pick up my bag and the figure crashed into me, knocking me back onto the bench. I had righted myself quickly, ready to yell at him. The boy shook himself like a wet dog, pulling his hood down which allowed me to see his face. I'd been taken aback by his radiating smile and sunshiny eyes. I stood there, stunned, watching as he pulled a headphone out of his ear, leaving the other one in.

"Sorry, mate. I didn't see you there." His accent was Australian, "I'm Oli."

"Do you make a habit of running into strangers?" I remember asking, half-sarcastically. As an angry fifteen year old boy, I was confused by the butterflies that fluttered in my stomach when I heard him speak. I'd never felt this way with anyone before Oli, girl or guy. His voice seeped into me like honey. I was trapped in his oceanic eyes, which creased upwards as he smiled.

"Only the cute ones." He'd flirted, winking suggestively. It took me longer than I care to admit before realized what he meant, and my mind had fled to something my father had always told me; his kind can't be trusted. Although, I failed to see how this sweet guy could be dangerous. "I moved here from Australia last week," Oli continued, "I can't believe this weather. There's so much rain!"

I laughed with him, surprising myself by saying; "Let me buy you a coffee. I'll show you around."

How things have changed from the naïveté of a fifteen year old kid.

Now, we were laying next to each other in Oli's bed, thousands of miles apart. I returned to the present, shaking off the memory. I wanted to reach over and touch him; run my fingers through his hair and trace the outline of his jaw with my lips.

"I'm waiting." Oli pushed, his eyes never leaving the ceiling.

I took a deep, shaky breath, already regretting what I was about to say. "I've hurt you so much, for so long. Both emotionally and physically. I know it's too little, too late and I don't expect you to ever forgive me, but you deserve to know why. It was never your fault, Oli. Never anything you did. I'd stupidly left my phone unlocked when I'd left the room and my dad got hold of my phone. He saw our messages and it didn't take long for him to figure out that we were dating. When I came back in, he was furious. He went crazy. He yelled at me, hit me, kicked me, locked me in my bedroom for days. He said I could never see you again. My heart was broken, Oli. It still is. I love you,"

Those three words slipped out before I could stop them. Oli held his breath and turned to look at me. We both sat up slowly, our eyes never breaking their hold. Oli opened his mouth then closed it again. He wasn't going to say he loved me back. Why would he? I solemnly lowered my eyes.