Heart and Desire (boyxboy)

Chapter Six

Ashton's POV:

I'd been watching Oli for the last few hours. He was hunched over at his desk, scribbling furiously in a notebook. I was curious at to what he was writing, since I knew he didn't keep a diary. I'd repeatedly asked him about it, but he continuously refused to tell me. He said it was 'classified' which was not a concept I was fond of. I sighed dramatically, leaning back on the bed, staring at the swirled pattern on the white ceiling.

Oli had been acting... distant since Emilio had stayed over. At around 2 a.m that morning, I'd gotten a heart-wrenching voicemail from a distressed, hysterical Oli. Terror had seeped into my lungs and I'd ran home as soon as I'd listened to it, apologizing to Garrett for leaving so suddenly. When I arrived, I found Emilio gone and Oli blubbering like a baby, his back pushed up against the wall. He'd managed to tell me through his tears that they'd had an argument, but insisted he didn't want to talk about it. I hadn't pressed him on it because everyone has a right to their own secrets.

The boys hadn't spoken since Wednesday, I think, which has really upset Oli. I wouldn't be surprised if he was writing Emilio an apology letter in that notebook of his. I twisted my body so I could see Oli. His eyes were alight with either passion or anger, and his tongue held between his teeth in concentration. I was positively bored.

"Are you going to be done soon?" I asked, knowing it was possible that he'd shout at me for distracting him; anything would be better this mind numbing silence. After a few minutes, Oli slowly spun his chair to face me and stood up. A smile crept onto his lips until it grew into a dazzling beam. Pride radiated off of him. I sat up, intrigued, and he cleared his throat. Had he prepared a speech?

"I wrote you a poem," He announced, bouncing on his heels, barely able to contain his excitement, "It's about the day we met." He blushed severely.

Oli cleared his throat again, breathing in and out as a method of calming himself, "Please don't laugh!" He added, suddenly worried.

I awed at how adorable he was; his unbrushed hair was messy, his checked shirt hugged his hot body in all the right places, his lips pouted when I started laughing in amusement. I love this boy. I spoke sincerely, "I promise I won't laugh."

He shifted his weight nervously then began. I resisted the urge to jump on him when he ran a hesitant hand through his hair. He stumbled over a few of the words as he went, but that just made me love him more. I noticed, not for the first time, his slight dyslexia when he tried to say larger words. I found it endearing, but Oli was always embarrassed by it. I listened closely to his words, never taking my eyes off him:

"Diamonds glistened in your green eyes that day,
a seductive smile playing on your luscious lips.
The wind, the rain, the dark stormy weather,
in the haunted, barren wasteland of my bland soul,
your unconditional love will save me.
Two hearts beating, racing like stallions, the force
unmatched by any other. Our first kiss
threw my young mind into inescapable bliss

A wink, a smirk, a hot drink in my hand,
When I'm with you, no euphoria can compare.
A lost heart was found, A dead soul reborn,
Yet you remained conflicted and torn between me
And your friends who could never understand
That loving a lost boy made you a better man.
To this day, despite the pain we've endured,
My heart had never faltered, nor needed you more,

Because you, Ashton, are the one I'll forever adore."

I was rendered speechless by his beautiful words. They struck a nerve in my heart in the best kind of way; it swelled with both pride and adoration for this boy, who I'd never known was so good at expressing himself in the form of poetry.

"Oli..." I breathed his name, which seemed to be the only word I could muster. Hearing Oli's raw, exposed emotions made me love him even more, but it also made me feel guilty. Unworthy. But mostly ashamed. Why was I doing this to him? I need to stop.

Oli ran and jumped into my outstretched arms, hugging me tightly. "I thought you'd hate it," He confessed, "But I remembered you loved poetry, so I tried my hardest."

"No one has ever done anything like that for me before," I said, honestly. "It was truly beautiful, Oli. I never knew that day meant so much to you..."

"Of course it does! That day changed my life, in all the best ways." He exclaimed in disbelief. I suddenly felt stupid for not realizing sooner that I was everything to Oli. And he was right about me being conflicted.

I thought for a moment, chewing my lip, "Oliver, can I take you on a date?"

Impossibly, his eyes lit up brighter than they were already and he bounced excitedly in my lap, wiggling his butt like a puppy.

"Yes," He squeaked, pressing his lips to mine earnestly.

He dragged his tongue against my bottom lip and I granted him access, allowing him to dominate me. He wrapped his arms around my neck and caressed my tongue with his, exploring my mouth. He shifted our weight so he was laying on top of me and sucked at my neck until he saw a bruise form. Then he formed a trail of kisses from my neck, down my jawline, until he returned back to my waiting lips. I pushed gently on his chest until our lips parted. Disappointment tainted his perfect face; the sight almost broke my heart.

"On one condition" I said, leaning back to study his face. He grew anxious, a thousand different scenarios running through his muddled head.
"Anything." He answered hesitantly.
"Make up with Emilio." I said, my tone leaving no room for argument. He nodded his head solemnly, a sad look in his eyes. Their fight must have been really bad.
"Okay," he agreed after some time, knowing he should.

I didn't like Emilio but I couldn't bear to see Oli so crushed.

***

"I spoke to him!" Oli called down the stairs, "Happy?"

"Very." I answered, moving to the bottom of the stairs. His smile caused my heart to break, but I knew what I needed to do. I motioned for him to come down to me, and he must have sensed something was wrong because he moved slowly, never taking his eyes off me. The passion from earlier had drowned. His poem had made me realize that Oli and I viewed each other in different ways; he viewed me as a life-long commitment.

Did I even really love him? I pondered this, but knew I couldn't deny the truth. I loved Oli with all my heart. But I knew the relationship wouldn't work out in the end, so what was the point in kidding ourselves any longer? I braced for impact, taking him in my arms.

"Oli, I need to tell you som-" The front door swung open and both Oli and I whipped our heads round. Oli's mum grimaced at us as she pushed past, carrying a few shopping bags. I politely took them from her and carried them into the kitchen, Oli trailing behind me sulkily.

"Hi Mummy," Oli waved to his mother, who forced a smile at him, the effort clear on her tired face, "Tough day at work?"

"I bumped into Harry in the canteen, and he said he wanted another shot. I told him where to stick it." She raised and dropped her shoulders in an exaggerated shrug. Oli laughed confusedly. I'd always had a weird feeling about Rachel; she was always so uptight and self-indulged. But I guess losing your husband does that to a person. Oli took my hand and grinned at me.

"We need to tell her." he whispered when his mother was unpacking her shopping.

"Are you sure now is the right time..?" I tried, but he nodded his head, adamant we told her now, "Okay." I sighed, defeated, feigning a smile to hide my discomfort.

"Here goes nothing..."

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A/N - How's the story so far? I'm really enjoying writing this and I'm so excited for the plot twists... Vote if you're reading, I'd like to know how many are <3 I tried my best to write a good poem. I know it's bad, but hopefully you can forgive me? :)
Any guesses as to what Ashton was going to tell Oli? How do you think Oli's mum will react?