Never Be || Lashton (BoyxBoy)

19 - I Was Running Back to You

Dedication: Lxshton_Rxcky

This is the last chapter. The next one is the epilogue and it's done. Am I crying? Hell fucking yes I am! I'm sobbing! The song in the media section inspired the hell out of this chapter and I'm just really emo right now.

This chapter is a bit of a rollercoaster of Ashton's thoughts. It may not always make sense but this is what he's thinking. You could say it's kind of an epiphany but like a gradual epiphany? I don't even know.

Anyways, thanks so damn much for every read/comment/vote since I started this last year September! It means the world to me!

Don't forget to point out any errors you notice.

Leave a comment and/or vote if you enjoyed the chapter! Thanks again guys. The epilogue chapter will be uploaded at the end of the week. :) - Vanessa

***
Previously:

Ashton stood up shakily, his eyes filled with tears he was trying to contain. He wiped his hand on a napkin before reaching into his back pocket and pulling out his wallet. He pulled out some notes and threw them on the table, not even caring how much he was paying for the pizza.

Luke was looking up at him, pleading, but Ashton just shook his head. He needed time to think and he couldn't do that with Luke. He wouldn't do anything stupid like steal Louis' car and try drive away either, but he needed alone time.

"Don't follow me, Luke," Ashton said before turning around and leaving Luke sitting there with a broken and guilty expression.

***
Ashton didn't go too far. With every step he took away from Luke, the painful tug at his heart increased. It was like the two were hooked, their hearts attached and as they moved apart, the hook dug in deeper reminding each other of how much they loved each other and how wrong and wounding it was when they weren't together.

He was made for Luke and Luke was made for him but it was times like these he doubted it. If they were meant for each other, wouldn't it be easy? Wouldn't their relationship be as comfortable as breathing, as reviving and sustaining as filling your lungs with the air it needed?

Because it hurt, it hurt so bad and Luke's pain through the bond only made it worse. It was a restlessness that settled over him and made him unable to think. He didn't know what he expected when it came to officially completing the soulmate bond, but it wasn't this. Luke wasn't here but if felt as though he was. He didn't need to focus on his emotions, they washed over him like they were his own.

He felt connected to Luke like he never had before, and although it was something he'd wanted for so long he almost resented it now. He hated feeling how much Luke was loathing himself because no matter how angry he was at him, he never wanted Luke to hate himself. Everything about him was too beautiful to hate, even the parts that weren't perfect made him that much more beautiful.

Ashton sat at a bench in the park, breathing in deeply. His chest felt tight and uncomfortable, making him unable to sit still. He looked around the park and couldn't help but smile despite the circumstances.

The grass was so vibrant, the small tamed blades of green swaying softly in the breeze. He saw children, their faces elated as they ran through the park, screeching as they did with smiles that seemed too wide.

The thing that caught Ashton's attention the most, however, was the blue of the small lake. It wasn't dark, but more light as the sun reflected on it, danced across the ripples the wind created. It reminded him of Luke, of his eyes that seemed all Ashton could think of.

He hadn't expected it, hadn't expected that when he saw Luke he would be the most beautiful thing he'd ever laid his eyes on. Because everything is beautiful when you're given the chance to see after nine years. Even the most terrible things in the world. It's beautiful because it can be seen. It might not make sense to anyone else who has seen their entire lives, but to Ashton it makes perfect sense.