ch. 2: the perfect place for murder

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Harry

We were all huddled around the bonfire, blankets covering our bodies as we felt the cold breeze of air.

"I think I'm going to throw up." Zayn threw his head back and groaned making all of us laugh. We all had a fun time mixing drinks, not including Niall of course, he was locked up in his room the whole time.

I sipped my now lukewarm beer, the incident that happened still not leaving my mind, I was sure it wasn't my imagination, it was real.

"What are you thinking?" Kendall's fingers found its way underneath my shirt and I shivered at the cold touch, now remembering what I was planning originally, I leaned down, my lips touching the lobe of her ear.

"I was thinking we could leave them be, go upstairs and maybe we're ready to have sex?" She looks at me with wide and lust filled eyes and then kisses me hard on the lips.

"Yeah let's go do that." She whispers, tugging my hand already all the way back home and up to her room.

-

"I love you." I look down at Kendall who was on lying down on my chest, her fingers softly tracing circles on my skin and then she looks up, repeating the words I didn't want to hear.

From her at least.

"Harry, I love you." She stands up and I just look at her as she kneels and sniffles, tears forming in her eyes, it makes my heart ache that I can't say it back. That she's nothing but someone who can make me forget. Make me feel numb.

"I k-know I can't say it but I do. I love y-"

"Shh ken." I sit up, hugging her and combing my hands through her long hair.

"I love you too." I hate myself for lying. I hate it but I have to move on. I have to forget. I have to move on. I chant.

Kendall looks at me before giving me a quick peck on the lips.

"I love you more, Harry."

-

I kept tossing and turning. I tried my best to fall asleep really I did but I couldn't. I looked at Kendall who was sleeping peacefully beside me and realized what mess I just got myself into.

The words I love you are not meant to be said to her but I had to because I needed to forget. Glancing at Kendall, I left the room and closed the door as quietly as I could.

I find myself in front of Niall's bedroom. I nibbled on my bottom lip, contemplating if I should knock and check on him.

He's probably asleep.

I should've just kept my distance. I should've stayed away but instead I still knocked.

I knocked but I was a coward so I turned around, ready to go back inside Kendall's room but quickly halted when I heard the door open slightly.

And there was Niall, looking so small and afraid and sleepy. His blue eyes looking at me as if he knows the reason why I was here.

And god, I wanted to touch.

"Harry?" He whispers and I gulp, not quite trusting myself around him. I open my mouth to say something, anything actually but no words come out and I notice him clutching his blanket harder, as if it would be a way to hide himself from everyone else, especially from me.

But he opens his door wider this time and we're still looking at each other, waiting for the other to make a move and as much as I wanted to resist, to stop myself from making another mistake again.

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