Not Another Summer Love Story

Chapter 23 - Selfish

Walking to the jetty felt unusual without Maisie. I didn't remember the last time we hadn't been together, gossiping and laughing about the night to come, or debating outfits and researching creative drinking games.

I had dropped by once. I had been walking home from work one evening and decided it was worth a chance to at least see how she was, but she wasn't home. She had taken her car out to see a friend, according to her mother. So clearly she had someone else to debate about outfits with now.

It also happened to be the day that a shift had finally come where I was working with Daniel. Awkward didn't even begin to cover it.

I was early to the ice-creamery. This had come from a lack of anything to occupy my time with but sitting and reading at the beach while watching Logan and Noah from afar, due to Alastair and Maisie's absence. It was a cheery morning, the sun shining happily, as if to say, who says your problems are going to bring everyone down? Although my mood was gloomy, it lightened at least a little. Other things were beginning to distract me, like my uncertain future with university.

Dan slipped behind the counter as if it were any other normal day. His hair was mussed and his skin a little pasty, but he gave a small smile, surprising me considering his dire situation.

"Hey, Val," he said tiredly, his tone a little less optimistic than it usually was.

"Hi, Dan." I felt conflicted. On one hand, I was still completely pissed with him and felt as if I should continue to defend Maisie. Yet, a strange, balancing feeling of normality was settling over me. We were working together, it wasn't the time to hold hostility or judgement. Besides, we were both scorned by Maisie, even if the level of severity differed. So I remembered our friendship, which had existed almost as long as me and Maisie's, and decided to ignore his terrible decisions for now. "How are you holding up?"

He looked surprised, his ginger eyebrows arching in some form of relief. "Okay. What about you? I guess you're still not talking?"

I shook my head. Although I was annoyed at her, half of me believed she'd be apologetic when we finally did speak again, which was making me feel guilty for being annoyed at her in the first place. I wondered who her new friend was, it plagued my mind. Zoe? Lottie? Someone else?

"Let's not bring all of this drama up," Dan decided. It was a good move, because the tension was bad enough for the whole afternoon.

The evening was balmy, coating my neck with a sheen of moisture and leaving me feeling hot and bothered as I slipped on my sandals, crouched on my front steps. I told Dad I might be staying with a friend tonight, just in case I wouldn't be home. I'd agreed to go back to Logan's house, after all.

With nobody else to occupy my time, I was left daydreaming about what could become of tonight. I didn't want to overthink it, but at the same time I still had no idea if we had the same intentions. But, even if we didn't, I at least trusted Logan enough to believe he'd never pressure me into anything. Did I trust him enough to respect me afterwards? That was another story.

I decided walking along the sand and feeling the refreshing breeze off of the ocean would be more pleasant than sticking to the footpaths. It would take longer, but at least the salt would help in cleansing my lungs. 

If Maisie was going to be there tongiht, it could be my chance to make things right with her again. I missed her, and her absence only added to the hollow pit left from Alastair. Maybe he'd be there too, returned from his Auntie's.

Missing him made me feel guilty. Because I knew my happiness of his return could be hurtful to him, and I knew that any attempts to show him affection or even friendliness just wouldn't be right. I knew what Maisie had said, and I wasn't inconsiderate enough to ignore her words. I couldn't keep rubbing it in his face.