Colors of a Voice | Tronnor AU

Blue

  Josse picks up all the pieces of their game board. Today is adoption day. Josse and Alyssa have done previous ones, but you can't help it. Josse is nervous. Nerves are no color. You feel them bounce around inside your chest. Nerves are just storm after storm of apprehension. She hated the feeling. The waves crashing inside her chest. As if they're trying to excape. Josse wants them to escape. They can't escape her. Nerves remind you. That you're alive. They remind you that you are in no control over this situation. No matter how terrifying that sounds, nerves keep you thinking and remind you to breathe.

  Josse has the nerves has she dusts off Alyssa's Lanky Frame. The younger giggles, just as a little girl should. Her contagious orange feeling smile is inviting. Josse smiles with her. It's a nervous and small one. Convincing to Alyssa as full excitement. Truth is, Josse knows the kids are sent back sometimes. She didn't want to go to be sent back. Alyssa and her naive mind never worried like Josse. Josse was glad.

  As they waited for Carrie to call everyone down. Josse had heard the door of the orphanage, a place Alyssa often calls 'home.' The place was so familiar now.

  The Leaf filled autumn that had been so prominent when Josse first arrived, began to get colder. Her visits outside were shorter and she began to need her Jacket.

  As Josse pressed her ear to the door, she heard a voice. The voice was Blue. Not a sad blue, it's a mixture. Blue is not sadness no matter what people believe. Blue is the color of her mom's voice. When she would say "I love you." You could hear it.

  That shade of blue is a liar. The blue tint can cover up the insincere words, making you believe every word he said.

  Josse stayed calm and quietly pressed her ear to the door to hear more. Ignoring the confused, yet intrigued state of Alyssa's green eyes. She could hear three murmuring voices.
  "Hello Mr. Mellet." That's all Josse could hear. She sighed in Annoyance as she sat down and turned her body to face Alyssa.

"Mellet. That must be their last name." Josse tugged at her hair as she thought aloud. Only a small part of her expecting a reply.

"That's all you learned?" Alyssa crawled across the auburn carpet floor to sit as close to Josse as she knew Josse would allow.

Truth is, Josse doesn't let people very near her. Her heart is still so fragile after so much loss. It feels if the feeling that you possibly were just abandoned. Was always there. Your heart knew they loved you and did what was best, your mind thought they were tired of you. Sick of all the things she does wrong.

She stands up, and holds out her hand for Alyssa distractedly. Josse's eyes scanned the entirety of the door's seemingly fragile wood.

The door opened. Sending a wave of air to push around Josse's small curls. Still holding Alyssa's pale, soft hand. She looks up to see Mrs Carrie.

"Hello Mrs. Carrie." She said readjusting Alyssa to be next to her as they stand before the tall female.

"Josse please come with me." Mrs. Carrie cryptically beckoned the 5year old.

"Yes ma'am" she whispered. She's scared and her voice breaks. She watches her fragile words crumble and fall to intangible dust. Josse turns her neck towards Alyssa and gave her, her best reassuring grin.

She let go of Alyssa's hand making a small, unsure promise to herself that she will be back. Knowing full well that she may be leaving with the 'Mellets'

She walked out of the room. Her mind and heart going the same fast pace. If her nerves were gentle before. They were a hurricane now. Raging storms pushing against her racing heart. She hated this feeling. The soft patter of her rain-like footsteps couldn't be heard over the constant drumming of her heart.

Mrs. Carrie guided her into the welcoming room. This was where the parents came to sign papers for the already chosen child. The room was always changing its color. The walls radiated nothing to Josse as she couldn't focus.

"Hello Josse I'm Troye Sivan." He spoke to the distracted eyes of Josse. Her mind was wondering. She stayed quiet as Troye thanked Mrs. Carrie for her time. He handed in signed papers and stamps of approval. It's all the proof they have that Troye is nice. There's no promise that the kid will be.

Luckily for Troye, Josse was kind. She did not argue with the adoption no matter how much the hurricane within her wanted to break free and run back to the hollow safety of her room. How she wished she could scream to distract them so she could hug Alyssa one final time. She did not.

She stayed right where she was looking at the papers. Basically signing her release. When Troye went to hold her hand, she wanted so badly to hit it away. She wanted to flinch away as it was not gingerly held out like most people would. Troye looked fragile. So did Josse.

She wanted to yell. Every nerve in her body screaming run. Yet, every heart beat began to drum with curiosity.

She looked to the boy with apologetic eyes and went to hug Mrs. Carrie goodbye. She didn't want The male to think she hated him. Hopefully he understood compassion.

  Troye watched the little girl say goodbye to her past. He always knew it was better to stay quiet during these gentle moments in someone's life. Told you can learn a lot about someone through their small behaviors.

  "She's a good one Mr. Mellet." Mrs Carrie whispers to me as she holds Josse. Patting the small of her back. As Josse holds her arms tightly around the legs of the older woman.

  Troye felt like he was ripping her away from her family. The deep purple of guilt washing over him. Drowning him like the sea.

  He wasn't taking her from a home. He was taking her to a new, and possibly better life. If this was true, why did it hurt so much?

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Heyo Skies. No real note here. I'm gonna have start a updating schedule. Not sure what it is yet. I will get back to you all soon. Like always, feel free to PM me any questions you may have about the book. I am open to suggestions of minor things you would like to see. I am always happy to read your Tronnor Fanfics if you want me to. Just Message me.

  Thank you so much for reading this chapter. Commenting update honestly has a high chance of working so feel free to. I love you all and I hope to see you in the next authors note!
- Jamie
XxSorry for the late Monday updatexX