Recovery

7.

you keep me alive,
on the edge of tonight
chasing tomorrow,
with fire in my eyes.
. -Edge of tonight, All time low.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

"Are you sure about this Mia, I know it's too late to back off now but are you sure you want to do this?"

"Positive. Look, I know you guys want me to stay but I really have to go. This is what I want dad okay?"

"I know I'm sorry. It'll just feel weird not having around anymore you know."

"I know, I know." I said hugging him real tight. Ah, I'm going to miss this. A lot.

I stood up and wiped the sweat off my face. I'm finally done with all the packing.

I wish I could take everything, but I know I won't have enough room for it all.

I turn my head towards to clock to see the time. The sound of ticking echoing across the room mostly empty, silent room.

I walked into the bathroom to take a hot shower. It's only 7, I still have plenty of time.

I tossed and turned all night last night, unable to get any sleep. Was I nervous or excited? I couldn't tell. Maybe both. I tried to sleep but I gave up and instead decided to pack a little bit and make sure all the things I needed were set.

The hot shower calmed my nerves down to an extent.

I got ready and went down stairs and made myself some coffee and toast. I made some for my parents who were probably getting ready for work. They insisted on staying home today, but I practically forced them to go. It's not that big a deal, we'll be leaving only in the night anyway.

I picked up my phone and keys told my parents that I was going out for a walk and left.

I walked and walked till I was at Ben's place. I rang the doorbell and Jessica opened and welcomed me in.

She offered coffee and some breakfast, but I told her that I was already done with breakfast.

We sat on her breakfast bar, just talking. She was effectively avoiding the topic of me going away. Sigh.

"Ma.. You know I'm leaving today right?"

"Umm... Yeah, of course I do hun, I'm really going to miss you and it hasn't quite sunk in yet." She replied reticently.

"What is it?... tell me?" I asked, frowning.

"It's just that, I'm kinda glad that you're leaving honey. I know I shouldn't feel like that, but I just feel like this will be the best thing for you and I really hope the best for you. Take care okay. I know everything has been so hard on you lately. It was all as painful for you as it was for me. I know it's not going to be easily but be strong, try and make some friends, and don't you ever feel guilty for moving on or being happy. I know you well enough to know you will. Just remember that Ben would've wanted you to move on and be happy. Don't be scared, just remember that he's always with you and just think of him when you're feeling down. It'll get better. I know it will. Also call me as often as you can okay? I'll be looking forward to it.

"Oh mom..." My voice quivering as I speak. I don't even try to fight the tears as the flow down my face and instantly embrace her. She hugs me back, patting my back, calmly, clearly holding back tears of her own.

I'm going to miss her and David and my mom and dad, and oh my god Ben's friends! Shit I forgot to tell them. They have no idea.