Recovery

8.

heard about all the love you lost,
it was over before it began.
heard about all the miles you've gone,
just to start again.
. -rear view by zayn
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I clutched on to the hand rests of the seat I was seated in as if holding on to them was a life and death situation.

In a way it was. This seat was the only thing holding me in place and from running away from here.

They felt extremely cold against my soft and tiny palm but I refused to let go.

My anxiety was increasing by the minute and I was a fidgeting mess unable to sit. My efforts to take deep calming breathes very futile.

I was still unsure as to why I was reacting in the way that I was but I think a little fear was normal. For someone who hadn't even left their country before, to move to another country all alone, to live and to survive alone was definitely a very big deal.

I was currently in the main hall of GSU. The room was moderately big, elegant and beautiful. It seemed grand but was actually very simple. Spotlessly clean, white marbled floor that had black patterns here and there, an old grandpa clock at the corner of the room seamlessly ticking away, white walls with a few pictures of the founders and funders.

The hall diverged into 5 different paths, leading to the library, cafeteria, dorms- A & B, computer room and the principal's office which included the college office room as well.

The classes were spread over the vast area in 4 huge buildings. I had a total 7 subjects and I had picked out- Psychology (being my main), English literature, history, economics, political science and German as the compulsory language. The thing with GSU was that they offered a long list of extra curricula's aside from our main subjects to reduce stress on the students which was quite nice. I had to choose from a long list of things like music, choir, computer education (which was only the basics as it was also a main subject), dance, art (which included drawing, sketching, painting etc etc), sports (football, basketball, volleyball etc) and yoga.

I chose music which included instruments as well and excluded choir, but we could be part of the choir if we wanted. We had to work it out with the choir instructor. I was think about whether I wanted to join the choir or not.

I had no trouble in choosing music because as far as I knew, I possessed no talent whatsoever aside from singing and playing the guitar and of course procrastinating. Obviously.

With still a week left for college to start, I was yet to get my schedule and details about my classes. My parents wanted to be early, to make sure I'm all settled in. Apart from the dorm room and the regular food arrangements, my parents didn't have to pay for anything else because education in Germany was funded by the government and the scholarship that I had gotten from all the hard work I had put in high school to maintain my A-levels, took care of my college fee.

I was going to start my search for a job tomorrow. I just feel like it's wrong for me to keep asking my parents for money for the smallest of things.

Speaking of parents, mine were currently speaking to a lady, a college staff who was sat at one of the desks in the main hall. They were sorting out the papers for my dorm, which was the last thing that needed to be done.

Dorms were allotted keeping in mind the distance the student would have to walk to get to class. Very thoughtful and considerate of them.