Impact (H.S. AU) (COMPLETED)

20 * CAN'T FIGHT THIS FEELING * 20

          

JESS

I wake up to the sound of birds outside, a first since autumn hit and the temperature drops have been catastrophic. I turn over expecting to meet his face, but the bed is empty beside me and I'm reminded of the constant tossing and turning I endured trying to fall asleep. I sigh as I stand from the bed and finally give in and throw one of his hoodies over my head. I pull the door open and jump as he falls backwards from sitting against it. He wakes up with a start, sitting up and running a hand through his hair.

"What are you doing?" I ask curiously.

"Couldn't sleep." He groans, his voice still deep from the morning as he pulls himself off the ground and wobbly stands to his feet.

"So, you slept outside the door?"

"It was closer to you."

His words make my chest nearly explode. He slept on the floor all night because it was closer to me than Louis's bed. He drives me insane, how can he do something like this today but yesterday he could sleep with someone else in the blink of an eye.

"Can we talk about this?" I ask, surprising myself.

"Right now?" He asks, rubbing his eyes.

"Yes."

"Can I go first?"

I debate his question knowing that as soon as he hits me with some huge rehearsed apology that him and Louis wrote up together, he will have me melting like putty in his hands. I need to say what I need to say first, I need to tell him that I'm allowed to be upset and I'm not the one in the wrong here.

"I'm sorry," He begins, not bothering to wait for my answer to his question, "I fucked up, so much. I don't know why I thought that was the way to fix things because it ruined everything and I'm so sorry. I know that you're independent and I can't make you do anything you don't want to do and I shouldn't want to, and I want you to know that whatever happened between you and Jace, that's between you and him and I have no place in it," He says quickly, rubbing the back of his neck nervously, "And I just want you to know that I care a lot about you and I'm not used to that, and it makes me undeniably stupid sometimes because I just want to keep you safe."

I don't even know what to say when he's finished. His eyes are so sincere, and his words are perfect pouring from his mouth, everything I've wanted him to say from the beginning. I know that we make each other stupid, both of us have done things that have proven so.

"And besides," He smirks, finally back to himself, "I've never taken the time to make a girl a mixtape before and we haven't even gotten to listen to it while we drive yet."

I can't help but laugh, every last bit of my anger shattering as he grabs me in his arms and pulls me to him with that amazing smile on his face. It could light up a city and it seems I only ever see him wearing it when he's with me. His hand reaches to cup my cheek and pull me to him, connecting our lips. It takes everything in me to pull away from him, shoving him away with my hands and trying to keep my stupid grin under control.

"Hey, you can't just make a big apology and a mixtape every time we get into a fight, you know?" I huff, holding him a distance from me.

He sighs, running a hand through his hair, "Yeah, I know," He says, reaching up to tuck a stray piece of hair behind my ear, "But Louis's really good at apologies and there's always cassettes and playlists and maybe even concert tickets."

I can't help but grin at him and the stupid smile spread across his face. He reaches for my face again, pulling me to him pressing his lips to mine. Every time he does it's the same as the first, fireworks exploding in my veins and an undeniable smile finding it's way onto my lips. I try to hold onto the last bit of resolve I have, not wanting to go down this easy without a fight.