Chapter Three ~ Carla

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Carla

When I step outside, I don't miss the way Brenda looks at me. I know she thinks I'm a slag, all my friends do. But I love my life; it's nobody's business how I live it, that's how I see it anyway. We all love each other; myself, Brenda, Clarissa and Davina, the four of us have a wicked laugh together, ninety nine point nine percent of the time. However, we do fall out occasionally, like most friends. But the rift never lasts too long, we always make up soon after an argument.

"What's his name?" Brenda asks me. I'm surprised she asked me, she hates it when I talk about the men in my life. I stare at the most stunning black woman I know. Brenda is so beautiful, Simon is really handsome and the three kids they're raising together are all adorable. I don't let on that I think that, all my friends know that I will never have children of my own. Brenda's black hair falls down her back in soft waves, it's glossy with health and vibrancy. It's always styled well, she always takes pride in her appearance. Her black eyes sparkle, her full lips look like they're coated with chocolate and her white teeth are a stark contrast. She has a body that would make any man fall to their knees to worship her, but there's only one man who she will ever let worship her. Her backside would rival J-Lo's, her hips are strong and defined by a slim waist and her jugs look like those of a twenty year old, not a woman touching forty-five.

I know that she and Simon are still madly in love, even after God knows how many years of marriage and having three rug rats. I'm happy as I am, I don't feel the need to search for a relationship or a husband. I don't think I ever will. Most women I know desire the family life; Brenda has that, Clarissa wants that and Davina is too young for that. Me, I don't want that.

"I didn't get a name," I reply. "We didn't do much talking," I see Brenda cringe, I can't help the smile on my face. I know what she thinks of me.

"You're a hussy," she says, taking a drag of her fag. I hate those things, just as much as she hates my lifestyle.

"I know what I am Brenda," I state. I know she doesn't mean it in a nasty way. "I'm aware that you think my life is shallow and meaningless, but I love myself and the way I live. I don't feel the need to define myself and I certainly don't see the need for the third degree this morning." I know my words come across a little severe, but I've heard it all before, from all of my friends.

"I don't think your life is meaningless," Brenda says, as she stubs out her cigarette with her foot, she then bends down to pick it up to put in the bin. Clarissa hates nub ends lying around on the ground, talk about neat freak.

"But you do think my life is shallow?" I ask, noticing she didn't disagree with both of my statements.

"I don't want to judge you. You're well aware of how I feel; let's just leave it at that. I love you, I really do, but I think you're worth more than just a fuck on a Friday night," she takes a deep breath.

"What can I say? I love to fuck," I say shrugging my shoulders. "This weekend was a triumphant shag honey, in fact, the guy was awesome."

"Spare me the particulars sweetheart, I don't want to know," she raises her hand in front of my face, wanting me to be quiet. The look of disgust on her face is priceless, I inwardly smile. She's not a prude; she just doesn't like the idea of meaningless sex. She married the love of her life, they are totally committed to each other and intensely in love

"What's going on with you?" I ask, needing to change the subject. I think it's best if I keep all the erotic thoughts in my head right now. Brenda is a one man woman, I don't blame her, I get it, I really do, but it's just not for me.

"Not much, Simon and I have managed to scrape a couple of hours alone tonight," I see the wicked gleam in her eyes, so I know exactly what she means. I know the two of them don't get much time alone these days, with having three children that suck the very energy out of you, it must be a complete nightmare for their sex life, it would be my worst nightmare that's for sure.

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