The Girl Who Swam Through The Aspect Of Time #Wattys 2016

I Have A Dirty Secret

The morning felt light hearted and cheerful. I was sure what had me in high spirits was the warmth of the sun. But as my understanding cleared, I was able to create a conclusion. I realized I was happy to be away from the hardships of my previous life. I've always wanted to go to a far off place, to experience something new. And that's what this world gave me, a future; a second chance. I thought, as I enthusiastically looked out of my bedroom window; The presence of green, growing things made the neighborhood seem alive. The only thing that lowered my high, was the thought of Jason not accepting me. As childish as it may sound, I thought of something similar in Florida. Back at home Jason was a Hollywood star; who'd never esteem a cabbage eating woman.

I folded my legs comfortably and curiously scanned my bedroom. It was in this same room that I'd been in before I left for college. The clothes in my closet hung statically one over another. However, my draws were replete, and clothes stuck to each other convolutedly. I began to walk toward my desk until my mother called out my name.

"Yes, mom!?" I inquired back immediately. A still silence took the place of a atypical disclosure. .

"Yes mom!?" I repeated. The still silence peered over me like a shadow. I opened my bedroom door and looked down at the staircase. It was ill-lit and I lurked timidly throughout it.The absence of light proceeding from each room except the kitchen had me question the time. I stood near the kitchen doorway and watched my mother set the dining table. She was quite short and small for her age. Back before I went to college, her and my father were close to me. No matter what happened in high school , I would voice it to them. Whether it was about grades, teachers, and even boys, I never let any problem slip my conscious.

One day, while I was working as part-time waitress, I got a phone call from my father. It was the first time I had heard from him in months. But he told me something that would break my chances at college immensely. He comforted me with benevolent and compassionate assurances, but I still balled. To imagine my mother clad in hospital apparel, with blue blankets over her pale distorted body stumbled sleepily to the back of my mind; which gave me chills even now. It irked me to think about former matters, to the point of mental exhaustion.

I strolled over to her,and felt the cold nerving tiles sting my warm feet. I threw both of my arms over her in solicitude,and basked in her warmth.This action was lead by the terror, fear, and a sudden strife . She hugged me back instinctively and rubbed both of my arms. The scent of her habitual perfume, penetrated my nose, and left me with a nostalgic feeling.

"Is there something wrong?" She inquired.

I allowed silence to fill the atmosphere, as I streamed my fingers through her hair. I observed her brilliance and reminisced in it's silky touch.

"No, you called me." I paused "But when I responded you didn't answer."

"Oh really? I must have not heard you." She gave out a sigh and sat down at a nearby chair. "I'm just really tired, and I have to make breakfast."

"You know you don't have to get up so early to make breakfast. Why did you get up so early?" I asked as I put my right hand on her shoulder.

"Nothing I just couldn't sleep and I called you~" As she yawned tears welled in her eyes, she breathed in and then out again. "I'm sorry about that I guess I was thinking it was time for breakfast."

Her face was ruddy, yet dark circles lingered under the pockets of her eyes. I wanted to move her into her bedroom, but I was fully aware of her former inflexible mindset. With a wave of her hand, she lazily gestured for me to return to my room. I was reluctant to move an inch without aiding her. I was sure she would suffer the same fate as in the future. Regardless, I walked up the stairs, the notion remained in my mind plaintively. When I reached my room door, I heard my mother's murmurings from the kitchen. I looked back in...

"Yea mom! Did you say something!?" I inquired. She cleared her throat and a chair screeched.

"Sophie." Her voice was raspy. "Y-your uniform is in your closet, you need it for school, so get ready."

I took a shower, slipped on my uniform, and gaped at my bedroom mirror. Who was I? It was like looking at a mirage after walking through a desert. Bones on my lower thighs, tracing down my arms and legs springing out at the toes. All replaced with plump, fleshy, rosy, skin. 'Where did the time go?' Contracting sentiments crumbled my mind to the floor, hefty gasps replaced whimpers. I was a confused and befuddled mess, thrown into a dissimilar reality, alone. My emotional outbursts were starting to become a pain. Couldn't I keep it together?