Damaged (Mike X Josh)

Chapter Seven

Josh's eyes slowly opened as he braced himself for the sunlight to burn his eyes. Slowly he opened them before blinking a couple of times as he adjusted himself to the bright light.

As he felt his body begin to wake up he felt a wash of panic over him at the thought of being alone. Maybe Mike left him, maybe he was just Mike's mistake. But all fears faded away as he felt Mike lean over and began to kiss his shoulder.

He closed his eyes relaxing at the touch as Mikes touch trailed from his shoulder to his cheek. "You ok?" He asked, Josh nodded his head in response. "Did you sleep ok?" He asked. Josh nodded his head again "y-yeah I think so" Josh finally spoke. "I'll go and get us something to eat I won't be long" said Mike before getting up. Josh felt a rush of sadness go as the warmth that Mike was giving him was gone.

Mike climbed out of bed before putting on some pants on along with some shoes before putting his coat on. "I won't be long" he said before leaving the bedroom. Josh stayed curled up in bed as he listened to the front door shut as Mike left the apartment.

"Do you really think Mike wants to be with you?" Asked a voice. Josh peaked out from under the covers to see Hannah sitting on the end of his bed. Josh shrugged his shoulders "of course he doesn't want to be with you! Why would he?!"

"You're not here leave me alone!" Argued Josh. "Maybe....but do you really deserve anyone?" She spat to be honest he felt like he didn't deserve anyone after what he did up on the mountain to everyone. "You're selfish Josh...I came for you so we could be family again and you left me! You left me alone!" She spat.

Josh hates it when she talks like this, this isn't how he remembers Hannah and Beth they where his loving sisters. Now they have become spiteful in his mind maybe it's because he feels like he deserves it.

Josh climbed out of bed feeling even more colder than before. He walked over to the dresser before grabbing his pills. He closed his eyes taking a deep breath as he listened to the spiteful comments. "Mike is only kissing you because he feels sorry for you, everyone hates you and you know it!" She spat causing Josh to pause. Maybe she's right, maybe Mike only kissed him because he feels sorry for him.....

He opened the cap pouring three pills into his hand before throwing them into his mouth and swallowing them. He kept his eyes closed counting to ten before he felt the tension disappear. He opened his eyes to see Hannah gone. He sat down on the floor as he hugged himself. Of course she was right! why would Mike want anything to do with him it's obvious it was out of guilt why else would Mike want to hang around with him or even kiss him.

"Hey I'm back!" Called out Mike as Josh heard the front door open and then shut. Josh stood up brushing himself off before walking out the bedroom. Josh looked to see Mike had come back with coffee and bagels. "It is freezing outside" said Mike hugging himself before walking over to turn the heater on.

Josh sat down at the table staring at his food. He didn't feel hungry but he knew if he didn't eat, Mike would start asking questions. It was quiet as they both ate their food "you ok?" Asked Mike breaking the silence. "Of course not what a stupid question" he muttered to himself after getting no reply from Josh.

"W-what am I to you Mike?" Asked Josh causing Mike to lift his head surprised and off guard at the question. "W-what do you mean?" Josh got off his chair and left the table. "Doesn't matter forget I asked" he said before walking off to the bedroom.

As he shut the door he felt himself begin to hyperventilate as tears started to fall. Of course Hannah was right why would Mike want anything to do with him? As he continued to cry he felt his body shake a little. Maybe it was the side effects of the pills making him feel really emotional he didn't know but what he was feeling hurt.

He jumped a little as he felt Mike wrap his arms around him and began to kiss his shoulder. "No stop!" Spoke Josh breaking from his grasp. "Don't" he whispered. "Because I know you're only doing this out of sympathy because you feel like you have to show some kind of affection because of Hannah" he continued.

"That's not the case at all" spoke Mike. "You're lying"
"No Josh I like you ok!.....I like you as more than a friend" confessed Mike taking Josh off guard.

"When Hannah.....grabbed you I felt something like....if I left you to die or turn into one of them fucking things I would be nothing, my life would feel empty which is why I had to save you, which is why I shared a hotel room with you instead off Jess and that night when you begging me to have sex with you? To take your virginity from you? I didn't want to....because I knew you where vuneravle and because I want to be with you!" Confessed Mike. "W-what?" Asked Josh confused. "I wanna be with you Josh I mean I'm not gay! But when....when I'm with you all I wanna do is be with you, take things slow and be there when you need me like these past few nights" he continued as he stepped closer to Josh.

He stepped closer cupping Josh's cheek wiping the tears away from his face. Josh gasped as Mike leaned forward to kiss him. Josh gripped onto his shirt as he kissed back. His body still jumped as sobs escaped his mouth. Mike pulled away before pulling Josh into his arms.

"It's ok...it's ok I'm here"