Had He Lost Her

Lost

"Mr Stabler?" The doctor from earlier asks
"Yeah, is everything okay?" He replies
"She is out of surgery, the bullet grazed the side of her head, so it didn't do that much damage" she says
"Oh thank god!" He sighs
"But, that's as far as the good news goes in afraid" she continues
"Excuse me?"
"I am aware that she was undercover for...three weeks? Well in that time, due to the conditions she was living in, and the fact that she was beat.."
"She was what?!" He yells
"She was beaten, she has bruising on her ribs and cuts on her chest. I have asked some of the other girls if they knew anything, and one of them said that she 'diss respected' her master or something, so she got... 'Punished' " she says
"She what?! No that can't be right, she was in charge" he says
"Was there anyone you can think of, maybe with a higher ranking than her?" She asks
"I'll find out" he says taking out his phone.
"Sir there is one more thing" she says
"Yeah?"
"The beatings she received, I'm so sorry. But. The baby. It didn't make it" she explains
"The baby?" He asks with widened eyes and his jaw that had dropped so much it was practically on the floor.
"Yes, I'm so sorry" she says
"Th..there was a baby? How old was it?" He asks
"It was hard to tell but I would say between, 14 to 16 weeks" she says "I'm sorry"
She turns around and walks back into the medical room.

Baby?! A baby?! Our baby!? My baby?! There was a baby! Was? As in no more. As in no longer. As in, it died. Our baby.
He thinks to himself.

He stands up and walks into her hospital room. He walks over to her and sits on the chair next to her bed.
"Hey liv" he says, he knows that she can't hear him, but he will still talk to her.
"Liv, when you wake up I need to talk to you about something. Something that will probably break your heart just as much as it did mine" he continues "But I need you to wake up now, so I can tell you, can you do that for me?"
His fingers lock into hers and he brushes his thumb over the back if her hand.
"Liv, will you wake up for me please?"
No response.
"Liv, you've got awake up for me, please Liv" he says.
He kisses her cheek, just as Cragen, munch, Finn and Melinda walk in the room. He doesn't take his eyes from Olivia. He ignores their presence.
"Liv, come on. Wake up, I need to tell you something" he continues
"What do you need to tell her?" Finn asks
Elliot doesn't turn to face them, because the tears are filling up his eyes. His cheeks are already stained with tears. Just as the new take the old ones place on his cheeks.
"Elliot?" Cragen says
He feels Cragen's presence behind him, so he shuffles himself closer to Olivia. He puts his hand on her stomach and moves his fingers back and forth on it.
Our baby. That's all I have ever wanted, from the moment I first saw her in the precinct. 'The hot newbe!' As Finn called her! I knew that we would be good friends, it's when we had that night together, when we were writing up our DD5s in her apartment. Things got a little out of hand, but I'm glad that they did. It's then that I realised that I wanted to be with her forever, have a family with her.
And now, we have lost our baby. But all I have ever wanted is a child with her, we can have another one. We will always remember this one. But we can move on. Because we have each other. We can have another baby, and I will make sure that nothing happens to this one...

"Elliot!" Munch shakes his shoulder dragging him out of his thoughts.
"Elliot what's going on?" Melinda asks
Elliot turns to face them. They are all shocked by the presence of the tears in his eyes. Elliot Stabler doesn't cry for anything. The last time he cried was...because of his kids...
"Elliot?" Finn says, edging him to say something
"She lost the baby" he cries, he puts his head in his hands and cries even harder
"She lost the baby? Elliot what are you talking about?!" Cragen asks
"She was pregnant, when she was undercover, she was 'punished' for not 'obeying her master' or something. It didn't make any sense. But it's gone. Our baby is gone!" He cries, now even harder
"What?" Olivia asks with tired eyes and a croak in her voice. "What baby?!"
"Liv!" He says turning towards her. He ignores the fact that three of his closes friends are also in the room, and he moves even closer to her. He cups her face and kisses her.
Gasps fill the room.
"Liv, it will be okay" he says
"No it won't!" She cries

"Can some please tell me what the hell is going on?! What are you on about, your baby?! And what the hell was that?!" Munch asks, gesturing about the kiss.
Neither of them really know what to say, due to what had just happened.
They both choose I ignore their questions.
"I was pregnant?" She asks
"Yeah, Liv. I'm so sorry" he says.
He knows that she has always wanted a child.