Had He Lost Her

Remind

It's been only three days since Olivia passed, and Elliot is loosing his mind.

"Elliot!" Cragen says for the third time, trying to get his attention.
Elliot is staring at Olivia's empty desk.
"What?" He asks
"Elliot, I know that this isn't easy for you. It's not for any of us, but either do your job, or go home!" Cregan says
He doesn't say anything. He picks up his coat and leaves.
Elliot is Olivia's next of kin, and he is scheduled to meet with the funeral directors in two hours.
He gets into his car and cries into his hands.
I shouldn't have let her go. I should have persuaded her to stay, and not take the job! And now she is dead.
At least I got one last kiss.
He thinks to himself.
He starts his car and drives to his apartment.
When he gets inside, he looks over to see Olivia's gun and shield on the table by the door. He picks them up and holds them in his hands. He sees the tear ,that fell from his flooded eyes, land on her shield.
Oh Liv.
He walks to the bedroom and changes out of his work clothes. He sees her NYPD t shirt on the bed. He picks it up and hugs it tightly. It still smells like her. Paco Raban lady million.
The scent is comforting, yet heart breaking at the same time.
He checks the time and is shocked by how fast it has gone by.

He drives to the funeral directors, but he can't hold back the tears. When he arrives he walks inside and is greeted by a man dressed in all black.
"Stabler?" The asks
"Yes" he answers confused.
"It's me, James, James Roberts" he says
"Oh! Wow! We haven't spoke in a while" Elliot replies.
Elliot hadn't spoke to James since... Since he helped Olivia plan her mothers funeral.
"Why are you here?" James asks
"Did you not hear?" Elliot asks
"I've not been in work for the past few weeks, I've been on holiday. Today is my first day back. Why what's happened?!" He asks
Elliot feels a lump in his throat. He feels the tears form in his eyes.
"Elliot? What's happened?" He asks, seeing his reaction
"Olivia, she was working undercover. She was shot. She was going to be fine. But she had a bleed on the brain, and I watched... I watched her die" he cries.
This is unusual for stabler. He doesn't cry. Especially in front of someone. He doesn't break down. But he has lost his partner. His best friend. The love of his life. And their child.
"Oh, oh my gosh. I'm so sorry. If you ever need anyone to talk to, I am here for you" James says.
"Thank you" he replies

They talk for an hour, about Olivia. James and her were really good friends, he supported her after the funeral.
Elliot decided on white roses, because Olivia was pure and beautiful. He decided on the theme from the titanic, but the instrumental version. It's kind of ironic though, because he knows his heart won't go on. He decided to keep her shield. He didn't want it in the coffin with her, he wanted to keep it. Close to him. To remind him of her.