Had He Lost Her

Speech

After the funeral.

"You planned it all yourself?" Cragen asks
"Yeah" Elliot replies
"It was a beautiful ceremony" Finn says.
That triggers the memories from the previous few hours.

He walks up to the alter, with his speech in his hands.
He gets to the stand. He looks down at the piece of paper, but decides to put it back in the pocket of his black suit.
"What can I say" he starts, but stops as he feels his voice crack. He clears his throat. "Olivia Benson. My partner, for...12 years. But we were more than partners, and friends, and that was only out in the open, a few hours before she passed. But i think that everyone knew, that there was something between us. Something more than just a partnership. We were incredibly close. I knew things about her that nobody knew. And she knew things about me, that nobody knew.
I loved her. No, correction. I love her. I will love her until I join her, in heaven. I love her unconditionally, even when she ate the last egg roll when we stayed up in the precinct one night. That's the night I realised I love her.
I know that there are many people, out there now. That are great full of detective benson's work. She always knew how to talk to the victims. Especially the kids. She would have been the best mother" he stops again and realises.
"She was a mother, but she lost the baby. Our baby" he continues
"I love them both, so much.
Olivia was, my life. She was the thing that kept me going. And knowing that we could have a child together, that was the most incredible feeling. But I didn't know that, that our baby, was even in existence...until...until it was too late" he stops for a third time, to clear his throat.
"I love this woman, and I will love her, and our baby. Until the the day I die"