Drifting

thirty three

jasmine:
I wake up to a quiet knock on my door. Not even caring about how wrecked I may look, I stand up off the ground I fell asleep on and open the door.

"Jas I've been standing here for thirty minutes waiting for you to answer the door. What's wrong?

Everything.

"Nothing." I lie.

"I know that you're lying... But I also know that this isn't the right time."

and without warning, I feel arms wrap tightly around me. The arms that I was just crying about because I miss them so much. I let out a few small sobs into his chest and we just stand there in my doorway.

He then slips his arms under my legs and carries me. We fall onto the bed, and not even caring, I wrap my arms around his body and tangle my legs with his. I just need him right now. That's all.

Screw him leaving. Screw him lying. Screw it all. I want him back. I need him back.

"Chr--"

"Let's just go to sleep." he shushes me.

"I love you." I say so quietly, that I hoped it was inaudible. But I know he heard it when I barely hear him mutter,

"I love you." back.

But if he did, he wouldn't be leaving, he wouldn't have lied, he would stay here.

We would be together right now.

We let it drift though.

All of this fucking drifting.

First Chris, I haven't even spoken to Nia and Crawford, and even my mom is off on business trips. Everyone is gone.

I'm all alone.

Drifted.