Repel

Planning & Participation

To say I hadn't been regretting leaving Niall hanging was an understatement. I was, in fact, absolutely elated since I had brought him as far as to let him think that 'we' was actually a thing, which really wasn't my motive. In the end, leaving him proved one point.

There is no 'we'.

I felt as if I had somehow battled with a barrier, however, I realized I hadn't really done anything but not react after passionately kissing a stranger who for some reason thought I was closer to him.

What the truth was, that I never really revealed my past, my story to anyone. It was stupid of him to think I didn't have my own, in fact, as everyone has a story to tell, regardless it being sad, tragic or happy and unproblematic. Niall must have his own, I see and I have no intention of knowing it. Whereas, he thinks I don't have one and clambers onto me. If he realizes what a tormented story I have, as everyone does, he'll leave. And rejection is my weakness.

There was a time when I used to be as he is now; carefree. I didn't fear behavior, love, opening to others. It was before I had met the two girls, Hue and Camille, or maybe after they had left.

I won't ever open to anyone just like that. My trust is difficult to win. If you want it out of me, it's going to be a long ride which usually doesn't end in success. And as far as partners go, I only feel that the ones that provide me pleasure are the ones I'll focus on for one night. Always, I'll warn them that I'm not one to get attached to. And usually, they listen.

I haven't slept with my assistant, Rose, in fact and I wasn't planning on either. I even lied when I said I was gay, that was to push the waitress off, I take it back. I'm definitely pansexual, I mean the more the merrier. I have had sex with men, women, people older than me, sometimes younger. The youngest I've gone compared to my twenty two years of age, is 16, who also came onto me first.

Moving on.

My next destination was to meet a few of the latest designers down in the lounge, they were those who wanted to try to design their first Styles & Co. runway clothing. Definite nerve they had, most of them backed off from the offer. I did manage to fit them into the plan however.

When I first walked into the room, I was met by a string of swear words, which I shocked me,  but not more than the familiarity of the voice that had rung out from the back of the room. My head immediately turned in the direction, where Louis and Liam both sat, with a panicked Niall behind them.

A habit I always had since I was a young boy was blanking out whenever something happened which was never meant to, so of course, on instinct, my face turned emotionless and I didn't say anything till I was at the small podium in the room, beside the projector.

The room wasn't too small, but rather massive however with Niall's presence boring into my soul, it was extremely stuffy. I tried to avoid eye contact in the specific area on the couches where Liam sat, beside Louis and Niall on the bar-like table behind them.

I cleared my throat, and faced the rest of the audience which included Zayn, my personal favorite member, and some others including Julius and Regina, "Good afternoon, designers," I greeted which was met with replies, "As far as my understanding goes, you guys decided to work on our runway campaign for Styles & Co. and want to take on the challenge of designing clothes that will feature in the 'The Choice Styles' this year, also known as the TCS Runway 2016,"

I could hear the young designers mumbling among each other, excited and nervous at the same time. It made me slightly nostalgic, reminiscing the first time I had gotten my invitation and almost passed out.