A Ride For the Better (Daryl X Reader)

Why Would You?

((Wow, so that last chapter was rather intense. But I'm back to update. Enjoy! Also, the girl in the pic is just going to be Alexis. I don't know who she is but I wanted to add a face to her. I have nothing against the girl in the pic. I'm sure she's lovely.))

It's been a week since I sat under that tree with Daryl and it's still pretty tense in the farm house. Alexis and I have agreed to not openly share our dislike for each other. I've been trying my hardest but those rude harsh stares she gives me makes me want to break her fucking shins. Beth and I have become closer and she's been helping me with my anger which was really something that needed to be worked on.

I knew I had anger issues but I suppressed them but gradually it became harder and harder. At age eight I was diagnosed with atypical depression. Which made me try to hide it, which gave me anxiety. So I got pills (that didn't work) which made me angry. And zombies make me angry and people make me angry. So let it be noted that my anger started with internal conflict. But I've been doing better. But Alexis, she pushes every one of my fucking buttons.

Purposley hugging Daryl in front of me.

Talking about me in subtext when I'm clearly in the room.

Forever pointing out that Daryl is hers and I can't have him.

It's just things like that that are so annoying and childish. I know I'm being petty and I'm not innocent but c'mon! Let. It. Go. I don't even know if I want Daryl anymore. The more I pay attention to him, the grosser and dirtier he gets. Like, dude...go take a shower.

But he was so sweet(ish) in his own way. But I really like how badass and funny he was too. It seems like nothing is falling into place for me.

It's like I like him but at the same time I don't. And lately, I've been kinda looking at someone else. I know it's wrong to like a married man especially one with a child and one on the way but I kinda like Rick. He keeps everyone safe and he's honest. I didn't always feel this way about him but it just hit me. But I'm not attracted to him.

I feel kinda slutty for just forgetting about Daryl but can you blame me? I want someone I can count on under these circumstances. Daryl looks out for himself and Alexis, there isn't any room for more in his heart for anyone else. At least not for me. I just gotta get over it. Out maybe I should just leave. Find another group. Get out of their hair. I wasn't even originally part of their group. They took me in when Maggie and Glenn found me.

I've wanted to tell Rick for awhile but I know of a group not too far from here. I ran into them in the woods once, they said they had food, shelter, and were situated nicely. They were willing to take me in as long as it was okay with their boss. He calls himself The Governor. They looked clean and full. I might see how that goes.