Immune-ish

Chapter Twenty-Five

EVA:

I've never seen Xander cry quite like this before, let alone show much emotion. His entire body is shaking as he holds his six-year-old sister in his arms and his tears soak her bright blond hair. I wish someone alive cared for me like that.

I grow bored and sad after only minutes of watching the reunion, and so I take a seat next to them. Xander's beanie is starting to get itchy, but I welcome it. This is the closest thing to pain that I will likely be able to feel for a while still. Unless Xander has changed his mind now that Chloe is human again. I am hoping that is the case.

Feeling awkward, I look around the expansive room to the zombies sitting in the cages. None of them have made a sound since Chloe walked in. Those closest to being human are staring at the brother and sister, some with joy and others with sad tears in their eyes. Even the zombies who are just zombies watch with interest and a polite silence.

Zane stands behind the pair and eyes them with hatred, but it's as if he can't look away. It's as though the entire world has stopped just to watch the two of them reunite. The world can't deny "beautiful" things such as this.

I disagree with the world, though. This is not beautiful. Because of my spite, this reconciliation is nothing but depressing. Why does Chloe get to be cured and with her family, and I don't? Why don't I just ask Zane while Xander is distracted? I have an answer to the second one: because I don't want Xander to get in trouble. Even if he doesn't care about me, I can't help but care about him.

Finally, Zane clears his throat and Xander looks up, his face bright red and his eyes puffy. Chloe looks up at Zane and her eyes show fear. I wonder what he did to her.

"This is touching and all, but you're interrupting everything," Zane says.

"We'll leave then," Xander says after sniffing.

"Good," Zane says with finality. "And remember you have work tomorrow, well, today. Fence duty. Don't be late like last time."

"Yes, sir."

Zane gives him an odd look, but walks away without saying anything. His footsteps echo down the almost-silent room.

Xander slowly lifts Chloe off of his lap and onto the ground. "Come, on," he says to either her or both of us. "Let's go." They join hands and walk off, completely ignoring me as I follow and try not to feel too hurt.

The sun is just peaking over the forest and the building is nearly empty as we walk through the halls and out the front door. I can't believe we've been here all night. When we reach the pathway, Xander lifts Chloe into his arms and carries her on his front with her head over his shoulder. She meets my eyes and I don't know what to do so I awkwardly wave. She turns her head and buries her face into the crook of his neck.

"Xandy," I hear her whisper. How can I hear her?

"Yeah?" Xander's voice is louder than hers, but before my transformation I would still be struggling to hear him from this distance. Now, I can't avoid listening in on their "private" conversation.

"Who's that?" Chloe looks at me and turns away quickly.

"That's Eva." Xander offers no further explanation.

"Why is she following us?" I duck my head in shame at those words.

I can hear Xander sigh. "She's staying with us."

Chloe's giggle sounds like the little tinkling of bells. "Is she your wife?"

Even if I can't see his face, I know it goes red, but not for the reason I want it to. "No." Xander's voice sounds strained. "She's just a friend. She'll be leaving soon, hopefully."

Good to know. I was already pretty sure he wanted me gone, but now I have my proof. Good, then maybe he'll let me get cured so he can get me out of his hair.

"Why?" Chloe asks, her voice full of innocence that this world has not yet taken away.

"I don't know," Xander admits. But isn't that a lie?  I wonder.  I thought he wanted me gone.

Neither of them speaks the rest of the way to the house. Xander opens the door and carries Chloe inside, leaving it open for me to follow. If not for that act, I would be considering just leaving, getting cured, and going home. But I really want to say goodbye and make sure I won't get him in trouble.

Inside the house, he sets Chloe down at the kitchen table and finds some vegetables in his fridge, hidden behind the steaks he won't be needing for much longer. He goes back to the table with carrots in his hand and sits down with his sister, eating hungrily.

Chloe stares at me in the entryway as she eats. Her eyes are questioning and very suspicious for such a little kid. Xander follows her line of vision and turns to look at me. His eyes analyze me, lingering a moment too long on my face.

"Eva," Xander says, "go wipe that makeup off. You look ridiculous."

But this is how I usually look. I stay silent and give him a thumbs up to keep him from seeing how hurt I am.

I wander away from the kitchen and down the hall and into the bathroom across from Xander's room. I lock the door behind me and lean against it, trying not to cry - or whatever you can call what I actually do. I walk to the sink and stare into the mirror, savoring the normal-looking reflection that meets my eyes. I turn the tap on and stick my hands into the freezing stream, the cold doesn't even affect me anymore. I splash it onto my face and rub the makeup off with more force than necessary. I watch as I am turned back into the creature I've become.

I pull the beanie off and let my hair down. I run my fingers through my unnatural hair. Then I return to the kitchen, as composed as I can be.

"Hey, Xander," I say to get his attention. Is it so wrong that I want him to approve of how I look, despite the fact that he will never love me back?

Both he and Chloe turn my way. Neither can tear their eyes away. One's face has a half-grin, the other is stuck in a frozen scream.

"Xandy!" Chloe screams. She begins to cry, but can't remove her eyes from my face. "Monster," she breathes. And the fact that she's not wrong breaks me.

I do her a favor and run off into what I have claimed as my room. My chest heaves, but no air enters my lungs as I tearlessly bawl. Of course, a monster like me can't cry.

First Sophie freaked out, then Xander sort of did, and now Chloe. The only people who have seen my face like this have been terrified. That's all the proof I need: I am just a zombie to everyone. I really am a monster.