Immune-ish

Chapter Twenty-Six

XANDER:

Eva walks out of the bathroom and I am thankful to find that she actually took the makeup off. She honestly looks better this way, yet another reason that she shouldn't get cured. She may be a corpse, but she's a beautiful one. A beautiful corpse that can never be mine, no matter how much I am realizing that I want it. My family is going to consist of me and Chloe, no more. I've said it so many times that it has become a mantra for me and I don't think I'll be able to change my own mind now.

I can't stop the smile from appearing at the sight of her, but Eva smiles back so I stop caring about this bit of emotion. She already saw me cry anyway.

"Xandy!" Chloe yells, distracting me.

I turn around and look at the horror on my baby's face. I didn't think Eva could scare anyone with her beauty, but I stand corrected. It's not her fault, though. Chloe just doesn't know any better.

I move to her side soon enough to hear Chloe whisper, "Monster."

Eva runs off and slams the door before I can stop her. Chloe is crying. Here are two girls to console at once, and it's unfair to have to choose.

I scoop Chloe up in my arms and carry her onto the couch. I sit down with her and pet her hair in the most comforting way possible. It's been a while since I've had to do this and it's hard to remember quite how I should console her.

"Chloe?" I gently ask. I can hear Eva doing her tearless-cry-thing in my parents' room and it's making this even harder.

"Xandy," Chloe whispers, "monsters are sc-scary."

I respond, "She's not a monster." But isn't she? I've never thought her to be one. No matter how much I wanted to believe it, I couldn't wholly do it, not even after she bit me. She probably thinks I agree with Chloe on this one, though.

Chloe's tears have started to soak through my pants where her head rests on my lap. "B-but she looks like one."

It's true, but she can pull it off. She's gorgeous this way. "Not everything that looks like a monster is one. And things that don't look like monsters can be monsters." I don't know how to talk to a little kid anymore, and I feel as though I'm making things worse.

"She's going to h-hurt us." Chloe sniffs and looks up at me for the first time.

"No, she's not," I say. Unless she gets hungry, I want to add to make it the whole truth. But I also don't want to scare her.

"P-promise?"

"Promise." I'm not sure this is a promise I can keep, though. What if Eva does hurt Chloe? I can't break a promise I made to my six-year-old sister. I'll just have to protect her. It doesn't matter if I get hurt. Physical pain is better than emotional pain anyway.

Chloe sits all the way up and wipes her tears on her hand.

"Are you okay now?" I ask.

"Yeah."

"Yeah." I smile. "You know you're safe now." I stand her up and carry her into the kitchen. "I'll be right back. Just eat your carrots."

She glares at me with a smile and sits down. Chloe takes a bite out of a carrot just as I am leaving the room. My adorable little sister never liked them, but now I think she's just grateful to get some food.

I stand in front of my parents' door where Eva awaits. She's stopped "crying" for the most part and I can barely hear her. I run my fingers through my hair and take a deep breath. How am I supposed to tell her that she's not a monster without admitting my feelings for her? How am I supposed to help without getting hurt myself?

I gently knock on the door. "Eva?" I ask. "May I come in?"

She groans and she sounds eerily like a corpse. I'll take that as a yes.

I slowly turn the door handle and enter her room. Eva lies on the bed with her face in a pillow.

"Hey," I say. My lips press together as I watch her laboriously roll over so that her back is to me.

"What?" she asks. "Are you here to tell me to leave?" Her voice is full of hatred, but also pain. "Now you think I'm going to hurt your sister, too? I told you I was sorry, alright? I can control myself now, even if I am a monster."

I don't know what to say. I could tell her to leave, but where would that leave me? But I can't let her stay, either because she must have somewhere else to go. If she's so insistent about getting cured and leaving, then there must be someplace she'd rather be than here. And to make matters worse, with her in this state, there's a higher chance of her getting killed, especially around all these people. I know better than anyone that most of the people in this town are not understanding. Someone is going to get the wrong idea and shoot her right through her delicate skull. I can't let that happen.

It can't be my decision whether she stays or goes. Eva has to make her choice on her own. Either way, I'll be right back where I started: in pain.

So what am I supposed to say to her?

"Eva," I whisper as some kind of start. "I'm not here to make you leave. And I know you wouldn't hurt a fly." It's hard to stay monotonous when speaking of such a serious and emotional topic. "I know you're sorry, and I forgive you. And most of all, you're not a monster."

Eva flips over and groans again. She sits up, looking at me all the while. Her eyebrows are raised and the dark circles around her eyes seem bigger than usual. "Oh, really?" She stands up and walks over to me with her hands on her hips. "If you're not here to kick me out, then what are you here for?"

Air comes out of my mouth in a sigh, but I can't make words form. "I-I . . ." Her eyes seem to get darker by the second. "I just came to check if you were okay." It's mostly true.

"Well, I'm fine. So you can leave now." Venom is shot at me every time she speaks.

"Eva, you're not a monster. You have to believe me."

"Just leave me alone." I've never heard her voice break like this before, not even when she's talked about her old life.

I take a step back and stand in the doorway. "Okay. I'm really sorry."

"Just. Get. Out!"

I take another step back and raise my hands in the air. A cold draft blows through the hallway. I quietly say to Eva, " You are not a monster."

"Whatever."

I jump back as the door is slammed in my face and I am left alone in the hallway.

Well, that went well.