The Vampire Diaries Imagines 2

Imagine #27 Stefan

He's messed up after being locked in the ocean by Silas for months, and he tries to push you away.

Not being able to find your best friend, your boyfriend for months was agonising. Knowing he was suffering was your own personal hell. And when you found him, he was only a fraction of who he used to be. A shell. Sure, he tried to downplay it. He broke up with you, and became a "player." Flirting with every girl he saw. Then cutting them loose. You didn't care. His emotions were still on. That was enough for you. It gave you the hope you needed to tell yourself you could get him back to himself.

Because you knew he was suffering. Severely. He was stuck in his own hell, as if he had never got out. He was no longer psychically drowning, but emotionally, well that was a different story. He built a huge wall, shielding himself from you. He didn't want to approach his feelings. But you knew him. You knew his emotions were hanging by an incredibly loose thread, and you were unwilling to let him switch off. You couldn't do that. You had to make him let you in. You had to.
***

You walked into Stefan's, blinking as you saw him drinking, staring at the fire.

"Is that thing ever not lighting?", you asked, sitting on the arm of the chair he was in. He looked at you warily.

" I like it", he said.

"So tell me Stef. What's the agenda for tonight? Another one night stand? Or a snack fest? Or are you just gonna drown your sorrows?", you asked. He winced at the word drown, and you gazed at him with scrutiny.

" I broke up with you. Why are you even here?", he asked harshly.

"We're always going to be here for each other Stefan. It's an unwritten rule", you told him quietly. " You can talk to me".

"There's nothing to talk about", he said, downing his drink. You squatted in front of him, your hands on his knees for balance.

" Stefan, it's me. It's us", you whispered. You saw him gripping the arm of the chair, his hands knotted anxiously together.

"Leave it", he said, his eyes closed.

" No", you said gently. You grabbed his knotted hand, smoothing it. "Come on Stefan, say it. You're on the brink of breaking. You keep seeing yourself in that box. You keep feeling your chest tighten with panic, with hopelessness. You still feel your lungs collapse, over and over aga-"

"Stop", he begged, his head down as he took deep breaths. His free hand started scratching his thigh in agitation. You grabbed it with extreme care, now stroking both of his hands.

" You can still see the blackness. You can still feel the numbness, can't you? And you hate it. You can't sleep, can't br-"

"Please", he whispered, his face pale.

" And you hate it. Stefan, focus that hate on me", you urged him, your voice easing him to look at you with tear spiked eyelashes. Your hand caressed his cheek.

"What?", he asked.

" Hate me. Focus your emotions onto that Stefan. I hate myself. Hate the fact that I couldn't find you. Hate the fact that I didn't spend every waking second swimming in the ocean. Hate that it took me too long to find you", you told him softly. He shook his head.

"You're... You're the only things that's keeping me switched on", he whispered, still breathless with panic. A tear fell from his eye to your thumb.

" I'm so sorry I couldn't help you", you told him.

"Didn't you hear me?", he said softly. He leaned down to softly brush your lips. You tasted his tears. " I don't know how to get past this", he said, his voice fraught with fear.

"Together. That's how", you said, your arms going around him. You felt as is you were hugging glass. He was so fragile. You were unsure you could ever let him go.

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