Chasing Sunsets

Chapter 32:

♪♪ If the heart is always searching, can you ever find a home?

Nawala ulit sya at hindi pa rin sya bumabalik. I asked his friends where he is pero hindi rin pala nila alam kung nasaan sya.

His friends and I decided to meet at the bistro. Nag-aalala na rin kasi sila. Hindi rin sya sumasagot sa mga tawag nila.

"May balita na ba kayo kay Nikos?" Tanong ni Matteo.

"Pabayaan nyo na lang kaya. He's a grown-up! Kaya na nya ang sarili nya." Sagot ni Jenine.

"You don't understand. That's Nikos, if he becomes unstable baka kung saan na naman yun pumunta." Sabi naman ni Tom.

"Right. Baka kung ano pang gawin nun." Pagsang-ayon ni Paulo.

"What do you mean?" Tanong ko.

"Basta. Kasi before-" Pinutol naman ni Jon ang sasabihin ni Paulo.

"Basta mahirap syang intindihin."

They started drinking. Hindi ko na maintindihan kung ano ang mga pinag-uusapan nila dahil si Nikos lang ang nasa isip ko. Bakit kasi hindi man lang nya sinabi kung saan sya pupunta?

Hours passed. Nagsimula na silang umuwi one by one. Kami na lang ni Jon ang natira. Kay Shein kasi sumabay si Jenine. Nag-away yata silang dalawa ni Jon.

"Talk." Biglang utos nya. "Kanina ka pa tahimik. Tell me how you feel."

Nagkwento naman ako sa kanya. Komportable kasi akong kausapin si Jon tungkol kay Nikos. Dahil siguro alam ko na naiintindihan naman nya yung nararamdaman ko para kay Nikos. At isa pa, he knows him too well kaya nasasagot nya ng maayos yung mga tanong ko.

"Ano bang ginawa mo para bigla syang umalis?" Tanong nya.

"Hindi ko alam. Pero last time na nag-usap kami natakot ako kaya pinaalis ko sya."

"Arte mo talaga. Saan ka ba natatakot ha?" Tanong nya. I could really roll my eyes at him at that moment but I didn't.

"Natatakot akong masyado na syang nagiging seryoso about this whole situation. He loves me, I can feel that."

"You love him too." He said as-a-matter-of-factly. "What's the problem?" Tanong nya.

"I'm afraid I can't love him enough, Jon. He's the best person I've ever known and he deserves all the love he can have. What if I can't give him enough?" I asked, turning to him.

"If it's you, then it's enough for him." Sagot nya pagkatapos ay bumalik sa kanyang iniinom. "Hell, Jenine can't even say the three words to me but that's more than enough for me. You see, depende yun kung gaano ka kahalaga dun sa tao."

I just nodded while listening to him. Kahit pala medyo playboy tong si Jon, may sense rin.

"Sa tingin mo ganun ako kahalaga para sa kanya?" Tanong ko.

"Oo naman. Come on! You're talented, kind, sweet, and beautiful. You're a girlfriend material kaya! If Nikos isn't in love with you and I'm not in love with Jenine, I would definitely go for you." He said, smirking and wiggling his eyebrows at me. I rolled my eyes at him in response.

"Hey seriously, Nikos is not the type of person who craves everything, if you can give him a little then that'll be enough for him." Pagpapatuloy nya.

"Hindi ko alam, Jon. Marami pa kasi akong problema. Seven months na akong hindi umuuwi samin. Ang tagal kong tinakasan yung mga problema ko dun. Baka hindi ko ma-handle to ng maayos at makadagdag pa sa mga problema ko."

"Love can never cause problems, Serene. Love fixes them. Hindi ba mas magandang may kasama ka sa pagharap ng mga problema mo? You both need each other, you know."

I took a deep breath and shrugged.

"You're in too deep, Serene, really. The fact that you worry about not loving him enough proves how much you love him."

"I know, Jon, I know."

"Maarte ka lang talaga." Pahabol pa nya.