Hiraeth.

Omnes Declinaverunt

In the dark abyss, I stood.

Waiting for someone to come.

Honestly, I didn't feel too good,

And in that pit of loneliness, to death, I felt numb.

Inching slowly towards it,

I knew I was.

But yet, unable to accept defeat,

I was determined enough to not go without an applause.

The survival instinct kicked in soon,

But all my efforts were futile.

Yet, from my place, I wasn't going to swoon,

And so I waited and waited, like a groom down the aisle.

Was I waiting for myself then,

To come pick me up?

Was anyone even going to come in that den,

And protect that yelping pup?

Time passed,

I wondered if I was missed.

I was dwelling in the memories of my past,

Which, for me, ceased to exist.

As I stayed more and more in the dark,

I felt my fear subsiding.

Yes, I felt as small as a quark,

But an important one, in hiding.

I felt my wrath melting away,

My gloom, sucked up by the dull black walls,

My frustrations getting out of my way,

My insecurities, made to fall.

In that darkness,

I felt none of what I was supposed to feel.

The one thought to be evil,

Was the one who healed.

In that solitude, I discovered

I didn't want to go back to the angels,

Because, the one I fell into, was my world,

Even though it was just a dark well.

I was lonely,

But I wasn't alone.

I knew the world was going to disappoint me,

And that is how, on me, it had grown.

As much as I enjoyed my newfound comfort,

There was a nagging thought, a what if,

And as much as I wanted to not go back into that dirt,

Of it, I just wanted a whiff.

With my newfound strength,

I tried to get out.

I knew no one was coming at length,

Because no one heard, of help, my shouts.

Perhaps they pushed me in,

But their plan definitely backfired.

So, on my face, with a grin,

I tried and tried and tried to get out, in spite of being tired...

...And I finally did succeed,

And crawled into her arms,

And opened my eyes and had some feed,

Even though I knew, I wasn't out of the way of harm.

She dropped me,

She dropped me herself,

And, crying, the Earth killed me,

Because I was trying to be myself.

---

The nurse said to her father,"Sorry, your baby girl was stillborn."