The Anon

Chapter 11: Sorrys, Blogging and Secrets Revealed. Oh my!

Chapter 11: Sorrys, Blogging and Secrets Revealed. Oh my!

It took awhile for my eyes to adjust to the bright sunlight, but soon I was able to see my laptop was out of battery and it was almost noon. But hey it’s Sunday. Throwing off my bed sheets, I trudged to the bathroom to wash my face and put on my hideous glasses. I never wore my contacts unless I was going somewhere or someone important might see me and today none of those things were going to happen. Slowly walking down the stairs, the embarrassing events of last night came flooding back. You know how you just remember something absolutely embarrassing you did and you’re just like ‘nope di nope’? Yeah well that’s exactly me right now. Casually making my way into the kitchen, I grabbed the box of cereal, the jar of nutella, the whipped cream can, and a bowl from the closet. Juggling all of these, I turned around to find Britton staring at me.

“What?” I asked a bit irritated, not forgetting last night’s events.

“So, who’s having a party?” I said as he gestured to the abundance of food in my arms. Rolling my eyes, I pushed past him and started climbing the stairs back to my room. I was sure as hell that I didn’t want to get out of my room today so might as well be prepared. Food? Check. Laptop? Check. No one annoying? Check. But as I reached the top of the stairs, I heard Britton call out to me.

“Charlotte! God, I’m sorry! What do you want me to do?” he asked a bit exasperated.

“Umm, well I would like Dylan O’brien to marry me, a couple of jars of nutella, for marriage to be legal between a human and their computer, and to tell Chase sorry!” I told him. He knew I was getting sassy with him, but that’s what he deserved for ruining the miniscule chance I had with Calvin. Storming up the stairs, I closed my room door and flopped onto my bed with my food on my bedside table. Opening the internet browser, I smiled. Time to blog.

Title: The Beautiful Flaws of the Human Race

So as all you guys know, I’m a anti-social person, and I bet you, the reader, is also as socially awkward in public as me. So I wanted to give you advice about surviving the tough world of communicating with other humans, but since I can’t even do that myself, I decided to list all the flaws of Homo Sapiens because complaining is what I do best.

So to start of the list is people who can eat and not gain weight. Why do people like that exist? Oh right to rub it in my face. Even if I don’t eat anything for like a whole day and just breathe air I gain weight. In the end I’m just like “screw it” and clear out the fridge.

Next is slow walking people. *rips hair out violently* I can not deal with these kind of people. Like can you not see me walking. Jesus, step aside peasant. Internet geek coming through.

And last but not least, the beautiful teenagers of this century. Those teenagers that get drunk and “shit-faced”. High-five to all those socially awkward people who avoid eye contact and run into poles.

So, to all my lovely fangirls and fanboys, stay weird and try not to text in public to avoid talking to people.

Sincerely,

The Anon

As I updated my blog, my hand reached to spoon in my bowl but brought the spoon up to my lips. As my mouth clamped down, all I tasted was the cold metal. Sadly, I looked down at my empty bowl and look out the window all melodramatic, but was soon interrupted by a knock at my door. Swiftly closing my laptop, I turned around to find Britton standing there with an arm full of food.

“Peace offering?” He asked shrugging his shoulders. I looked at him, then to the food in his arms, then back at him. He was holding the key to my heart. Jumping from my spot on the bed, I rushed to him and grabbed the food out of his arms and went back to my bed. At first he had a smug look on his face, but as soon as I took the food and didn’t give him another word his jaw dropped.