excerpts

7.9

I miss you more than I'd like to admit.

I miss us. The disjointed melody that assimilated in the space around us as we spun in circles to discover ourselves in each other. Except we wouldn't ever.

You probably don't remember it, but I do.

Comfortable, drawn out silences and moments we held to ourselves are the most precious in my memory.

I think about you everyday. Only, you're not thinking about me. I'm not significant enough to be a fleeting thought in the back of your mind.

I don't know if you know how much it hurts to want someone you know you'll never have.

But I'll tell you this;

Nothing has ever hurt me more. The built up pain that pierces my chest and feels like a million little pinpricks across my heart, and oh, the way my stomach clenches and turns when I see you with her, it feels like some kind of terrible world I can't escape.

But you don't know that. You never will. Because I can't ever tell you.

And thus is my fate;

I'll go on living and smiling like I'm alright but inside I'm hollow, a shell, nobody now, because everything about you has consumed me, and all that's left is a ghost.