Burning Desire

Chapter Thirty-Eight

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Twenty thousand spectators had gathered in the grandstands of the main area at the Kentucky Horse Park to watch the first, crucial phase of the Rolex Kentucky Three Day Event. Already this morning and yesterday, the crowd had watched as almost a hundred of the world's greatest eventers had performed the complex manifold of manoeuvres that comprised their dressage tests. After a long, agonising wait, it was finally my turn.

"Making her four-star debut at the tender age of twenty-two, ladies and gentleman, this is Madison Evans riding Burning Desire," the commentator's metallic voice echoed out over the Tannoy.

It was as if I had been here before, but only in a fantasy; a hazy dream that was constantly blurred around the edges like a flickering black and white television screen. But this was for real, and I felt like I was seeing the world through a crystal lens in dazzling, iridescent colour.

The grandstands ascended around us, pretty flower displays dotted around the sandy turf of the stadium and the scoreboard flickered in vibrant orange writing above the judge's hut. Twenty-thousand pairs of eyes zoomed in on us, plus countless others watching through digitalised means, and a dignified applause welcomed us into the arena. Brenna felt as if an electric current had run through her; every nerve, every muscle, every bone in her body was charged with a powerful force that I was scared I would not be able to control.

But there was no space in my brain for any emotion other than serenity. I never paid much attention in science class whilst I was at school – my brain had always been left at the stables – but I do remember my chemistry teacher telling us that opposite forces attract. If I allowed nerves and excitement and pressure to enter my system, Brenna would do the same, causing her to repel from my aids and our test would end in disaster. If I remained calm and focused, the mare would mirror my mood and pay attention to my aids.

We took one last warm-up lap around the edge of the dressage arena before entering at A and cantering up the centre line. My heart hammered against my chest and my pulse pounded in my fingertips, but I closed them around the reins and exhaled deeply to slow Brenna to a square halt at X. I raised a trembling hand to salute the judges, knowing that every movement after this demanded perfection – one mistake could cost me my dreams, again. Then I dropped my hand and let fate take the wheel.

I'd run through the test so many times that it was engraved in my mind, in my heart, in my body. I eased Brenna into a working trot quietly, but traces of tension trickled into her body and her nose ducked slightly behind the vertical due to tension in her neck. As we transitioned seamlessly into the extended trot down the long side of the arena, Brenna flung her forelegs out in front of her and powered the motion from her hind-quarters, propelling us forward in an expressive extended trot. The faster speed helped drive the tension from within her and when I collected her into medium trot she felt much suppler and more engaged.

We executed a neat half-pass with a decent degree of accuracy considering Brenna was still slightly too tense to bend through her frame properly. But yet the movement was still impulsive and maintained the same cadence throughout; she was engaged in her hind-quarters and didn't fall forward through the shoulder.

We slowed to walk in the corner of the arena before halting at C to perform a somewhat rigid half-pirouette before pushing back into working trot around the corner and stretching into another expressive extended trot across the diagonal of the arena. This time when I asked for half-pass, the mare bent around my inside leg to a more accurate angle. When we slowed down into an extended walk, she stretched through her frame and into the contact nicely, though the extension of her strides wasn't nearly exaggerated enough – yet again limited by tension. But, based on the situation, the mare was as focused and relaxed as I was ever going to get her, and she was still managing to deliver a fairly accurate test.