Bloody Walls

Chapter 10: Christmas P/2

I moved back to take a breath. My head is having a war inside of it.
Why did Harry kiss Cho if he liked me?
Why do I still like him?
I shoved him off and walked away. Grace walked up to me.
"Emily are you okay?"
"Yeah," I stated, "I'm fine."
Then I rushed up to my room. I bit my lip and then grabbed my journal.
December 25,
I don't get myself. Harry said he liked me but I keep on thinking he doesn't. If he liked me then why did he kiss Cho Chang? HELP! Grace is sweet and is helping me out. Hermione has a crush on Blaise from Slytherin. Grace has a crush on Ron from Gryffindor. I have a crush on Harry. Ginny has a crush on Draco! What is going on with me? This is weird.
I put my journal away. I wanted to like him. Forever. But I didn't understand anything anymore. I want to love him. Hard. I took off my doe necklace and put it away. Then I realized I was crying. I took a baby wipe and wiped off my make up. Someone knocked on the door.
Then two girls walked in, they were Fred and George's age.
"Hey, I am Winter," said one.
"S'up, I am Lily."
"Hi, I am Emily," I said calmly.
Winter had blue eyes that stood out from anywhere. Her hair was black and was in rich curls that were almost like spiral stair cases or DNA. She had freckles that formed a bridge over her nose.
Lily had green eyes that had a brown rim around the pupil. Her hair was straight and strawberry blond. She looked like a form of Lily Evans, or so I've heard.
Then Grace appeared in the door way with a guitar.
"Hey, I heard something happened between you and Harry. Here let me sing a song for you."
I smiled and nodded thank you when she was done.
"I guess in a way, I'm not dating Harry anymore..." I sighed.
"What happened?" Grace asked.
"Well, it's just not real. If you know what I mean?" I said frowning.
!!Grace frowned, "Ron makes me feel the same. He keeps on asking me out but I feel like a toy..."
I nodded. Winter and Lily crawled over to me to hug me.
Then we heard a knock on the door, Lily opened it, and then motioned for everyone to come out, leaving me alone.
"Hi, Emily..." Harry said.
He sat on my bed. He attempted to kiss me but I looked away.
He bit his lip, and tried to cover up his disappointment.
"What's going on?"
"Harry, we can't be dating..."
"Do you feel like I'm using you? Or maybe you feel like I'm risking you're life? Or-" I cut Harry off.
"No. It's not like that. I-it's just that um....someone...would ruin my life, if she...ever...found out we are-were dating. And it doesn't, feel real. No broken hearts r-right? I mean we were only dating for like one week..." I stuttered.
Harry didn't say anything for what felt like forever.
"Is someone bulling you? If-" Harry started.
"Heh heh heh," I faked laughed the tears away, "of course not..." I was lying and giving him up, to Cho.
Harry sat there and then left.
I slumped on the bed.
I should be banging my head against a wall.