Midnight Philosophy ✓

02: 42 A.M

"So, I've been thinking –"

"Uh-oh."

"– about moving."

"To where?"

"I don't know. Somewhere. Anywhere. I'm getting sick of Dublin."

"What's wrong with Dublin?"

"Everything."

"Micah, what –"

"It's amazing isn't it?"

"What is?"

"Just lonely how you can feel in a crowded place and it's a different kind of loneliness. It's not the kind that finds you when you're sitting alone in your room or when you're walking down an empty street. It's the cold, numb kind of loneliness y'know? Where you can see everyone around you, so many people, see the sun and the birds in the sky, see the sky scraping buildings but – you can't –can't feel any of it. It's too distant to be known."

"Micah–"

"So. Yeah. I've been thinking about moving. Somewhere quiet y'know that's not a pit of noise like Dublin."

"Micah, that loneliness you're feeling...a different location won't change that. Dublin isn't plagued with loneliness, it's you. That feeling will follow you everywhere until you confront it. You can go somewhere quiet and instead of living in a pit of noise, you'll be living in a pit of silence. It's going to be so much worse this time you know why?"

"....why."

"...because the silence will only heighten your loneliness. Believe me, running away to some town in the middle of nowhere won't solve anything."

"So. Fuck. What am I supposed to do?"

"Stay and fight. However you're feeling right now...it'll pass. Trust me. It's the quintessential law of the universe. Nothing lasts and everything is temporary."

"Except for matter."

"Yes, except for matter."

"...."

"Is this about Brookes?"

"...."

"Micah."

"...."

"This is about Brookes isn't it?"

".... No? What? Why do you think that?"

"Because last week you came in drunk out of your mind at five in the morning raving on about how you tried to kiss Brookes but you ended up vomiting on his shoes."

"I...I...What? I tried to kiss Brookes?"

"Yes – wait – you don't remember?"

"Of course not! Oh God. What the fuck! Is that why he's been avoiding me?"

"Probably. You did vomit on his shoes. I've heard everything Brooklyn Palomo owns is worth a grand and upwards."

"Oh. Fuck! Oh my God. There's no way I'm turning up to that lecture tomorrow. There's not just no way. Brookes is either gonna delete me out of his life or punch me in the face. Oh God! Why didn't you tell me earlier?"

"Because –"

"What else did I say? Did I do anything stupid?"

"When I asked why you tried to kiss him you starting to say something like 'he's other half of –' and then proceeded to vomit on my grandmother's vase."

"I said what? Brookes is the other half of what?"

"No idea. After you vomited, I had to drag you back to your room and put you to bed. You're lucky you didn't wake up Aarav."

"Oh my God. What the hell is wrong with me?"

"Well, you're impulsive, superficial, indecisive, restless –"

"Don't literally name what's wrong with me! What's wrong with you? See? See how I do the courtesy of not naming your shit side? You're bloody welcome."

"You're a saint."

"........"

"......."

"He's the other half of my soul."

"What?"

"I think...I think that's what I was going to say last night. Brookes – he's the other half of my soul."

"Fuck."

"....."

"So, it is about Brookes isn't it?"

"Shit, mate, when isn't it about Brookes?"

"I thought you were over him."

"Yeah, well....so did I."