Midnight Philosophy ✓

02:39 AM

"Who was that?"

"...."

"Micah."

"...."

"Micah, who the hell just left our flat?"

"...."

"Micah - er, what, you're so sweaty. The living room is a bloody mess - what the hell happened here?"

"...."

"Micah. I know you can hear me. Those earphones don't work, you broke them like two weeks ago and you've been too cheap to buy new ones ever since."

"...."

"Why are you in the kitchen? Wait a second. Are you seriously making chocolate pudding?"

"...."

"Are you going to answer me or are you going to keep stirring that pot? You know you're not supposed to use a fork right? And this kitchen is also a bloody mess. What have you been doing?"

"...."

"Micah."

"...."

"For the first time in months I manage to get an early night but I'm woken up by the sound of people arguing and someone slamming the door shut. So, I drag myself out of bed, find the living room in a mess, the kitchen a mess and you, mute, cooking chocolate pudding in nothing but your boxers. Now, don't you think a situation like that deserves some answers?"

"...."

"Micah!"

"...."

"Will you stop stirring the chocolate pudding for a second and answer - oh. Oh shit. Micah, what the hell happened?"

"...."

"Mike, c'mon, talk to me. Please."

"...."

"I fucked up."

"You fucked up? Why? What happened?"

"I - no, it's nothing. Go to sleep, Sol, sorry for waking you."

"I'm already awake and I can't leave you alone when you're like this."

"...."

"Mike."

"See? I have fucked up. You only ever call me Mike when I've fucked up."

"How do I know you've fucked up when you won't tell me what happened?"

"...."

"Micah, please. C'mon. Tell me."

"...."

"Who left the flat just now?"

"...."

"Micah."

"...Brookes."

"Brookes? Brooklyn Palomo?"

"Yeah."

"What was he doing here?"

"Fuck."

"Leave the chocolate pudding alone! I'm gonna throw that in the bin in a second if you don't answer me! Micah, what was the hell was Brooklyn Palomo doing here?"

"I went to Morpheus' house party with Aarav and Elsie. It was actually pretty good even though the guy was only playing house music. Elsie got with someone, Aarav got drunk, Morpheus got high and....I found Brookes drinking alone in the attic so I joined him because it's no fun drinking on your own y'know?"

"Why was he drinking alone? Isn't supposed to be the big man on campus? I thought he was popular."

"Yeah but, he said he needed to be alone. He said silence could the best friend you ever have. I was gonna leave him but he told me to stay and I did and we ended up back here and...and..."

"And what?"

"And we - I - um - we sorta slept together?"

"...."

"Uh-"

"What. You banged Brooklyn Palomo?"

"You don't have to say it in such a vulgar way -"

"Where?"

"What?"

"Where in our flat did you bang him?"

"Why?"

"So I can burn it! Where?"

"....The sofa?"

"Oh my GOD. I cant - what is wrong with you?"

"I don't know!"

"Isn't he dating that pretty French girl? Abella or Ada or something -"

"Alisa. He's dating Alisa. She's my lab partner in microbiology. She's brilliant, beautiful, and she's helped me so many times with my coursework. She even invited me to her birthday do next week and oh my god, I fucked up."

"Why? Why did you do that?"

"Because I was drunk and I've never been good at controlling my feelings and he just - Sol, he just looked so fucking gorgeous, like...like everything I ever wanted and needed and how could I say no? There can't be a universe where I said no. In that second I got why Shakespeare wrote one hundred fifty-four sonnets. I got it, y'know? When your heart beats that wildly for someone the least you can give them is a one fifty-four sonnets. I didn't mean to kiss him, it just happened but then he was kissing me back and...and things got out of hand."

"So let me get this straight. You fucked Brooklyn Palomo - who has a girlfriend - on our sofa when you were blind drunk and now you're making chocolate pudding in the middle of night?"

"Basically."

"And he just left?"

"We got into argument. I don't even know over what and he just - stormed out. Fuck. I shouldn't have - I shouldn't have gone to that party. I shouldn't have crossed that line with him. I shouldn't have told him how I feel. I shouldn't do a lot of things right? God. What have I done, Sol? When did life get so complicated? I miss - I miss, I miss what? My childhood wasn't sunshine and roses like yours. It was broken beer bottles and screaming matches. A lot of people like to find comfort in their pasts but I can't do that. I can't even do that with my future. It's too obscure, it's so far away its barely a dot. All I have is now and now...now feels like a hundred bullets are lodged in my heart. Now feels like the moment you've plunged down the rollercoaster, y'know that sickening sensation where your organs have been jumbled and tossed around? Now the air's frozen in my lungs and I can't breathe. Now I want to sleep and sleep and never wake up."

"Mike."

"I know, believe me, I know.