Don't Cry Kyle

You want Cartman?

It was around 5:00pm, Stan Marsh and his three friends Kyle Broflovski, Eric Cartman and Kenny McCormick sat on the couch in his apartment as they messed around with their old video games. Stan shared his apartment with his girlfriend Wendy who was out of town with her family. "Damn it Cartman stop killing me! I'm on your team!", Kyle shouted as his fat friend ignored him. All the boys had a place to live now. Kenny started living with Kelly after she moved to South Park. As for Kyle, he lived with Cartman at times to try and get along better. They didn't share a room and didn't have a relationship. Yet Stan could tell the fat ass was slowly gaining feeling for the jew. At the moment Kyle remembered he was going to meet up with Mephesio, as the boy actually has been part time working there to afford his rent. "Hey Kyle, you spending the night? Wendy isn't gonna be here all weekend.", Stan asked as he put his game controller down and took his coat off. "Naw I have to get to Mespesio's place. He's getting pretty weak these days and his weird son Kevin wanted me to help out. I mean that is how I've been paying "our" rent!", Kyle replied as he made an angry look at Cartman. "Why you looking at me? I've paid the rent before!", Cartman added in an angry tone. Stan knew they were gonna start yelling at each other and that it would be a good time for the others to go home. "Hey I have alot of studying to do for a historical test. Why don't you all head home and we can meet up tomorrow.", the raven added hoping his college work excuse would be enough for them to head out the door. Luckily it did.

About an hour later Kyle was at Mephesio's place. He still tended to cringe at some of the fucked up hybrided animals that were owned by the man. Kevin walked over to Kyle and handed the boy a broom. "What's this?", Kyle asked in a confused tone. Mespesio walked in and greeted Kyle. "Hello Kyle, just the boy I wanted to see. Kevin wanted you to try out one of my newest gadgets. It is supposed to make you feel younger.", the elder explained not to much of Kyle's interest. "Umm well uhhh-", Kyle was interupted when Kevin poked the boy's leg and made an annoyed look. "Okay fine...". Kevin walked Kyle over to a tin foil wall to stand in front of. That was when the short short of Mespesio got out of the way when the gadget was turned on. The gadget looked like a lazer gun yet it had settings to different age types. "So how young do you want to feel?", Mespesio asked. "Uhh I don't know, I'm 18 years old so make me a year younger I guess.", Kyle said in an unamused tone. When the lazer was set to the Jew it somehow was a bigger zap than opposed. That was when Kyle let out a shriek, Kevin and Mespesio had a shocked look when they saw how Kyle turned out.

Meanwhile Stan got a call from Mespesio to come quickly. When Stan got there he wasn't sure what he was gonna see. "Hey Mespesio, sorry if I took a while. What did you want me to see?", the raven asked as he shut the door behind him. That was when the boy's jaw dropped when he saw Kevin walk over to him with a crying baby Kyle in his arm. "Apparently Kyle had a bit of an accident. I was supposed to make him a year younger but I apparently made him 17 years younger. Until I find a way to turn him back you may have to take care of him.", Mephesio explained to Stan. Kevin handed Kyle to the boy and he looked at him. "Oh god Kyle! He is a b-baby? I can't care for a baby!", Stan stuttered making Kyle cry more. "I would make him older now but my gadget only makes people younger. Plus it would highly dangerous to put an experiment on an infant right now.", Mephesio stated. Stan decided it would be for the best to take care of Kyle. It wasn't like Cartman would care if Kyle wasn't his apartment. "I'll take him home. I'm just gonna go get him in some clothes that will fit him. I mean there is no way he is gonna be able to sleep with these on."

Stan soon got to his apartment and put Kyle on the couch. The baby looked up at Stan in confusion. He wasn't crying now but he did shiver a bit. Luckily Stan did have some baby shirts and apparently a box of diapers that Wendy bought in case they had to babysit. Wendy did enjoy babysitting for others, which Stan didn't tend to enjoy. "Well Kyle, I know you aren't gonna like it but you need to wear some smaller clothes.", the raven said to Kyle. The minute the boy took out a small baby shirt and a diaper just the right size Kyle began to cry again. "No!", the baby shouted making Stan jump a bit, apparently he didn't know Kyle would be able to say no in such a loud voice. As the baby had his coat, shirt, pants, underwear, shoes, socks and hat taken off he screamed as if he was being chased by a serieal killer. "Calm...down! You will be fine!", Stan grunted as he tried diapering the infant and putting a green T-shirt with a basket ball print over his shoulders. "No ahh!", Kyle cried as Stan finally finished. "There now... that wasn't so bad. You will have to wear these for now. I think you look nice and comfy.", Stan cood as the baby showed no interest. The boy realized that his friends were gonna be curious about why Kyle is a baby. Until then he thought he should put his now infant friend to bed. He put some pillows on the couch and a blanket. Then he laid the baby down. "Get some sleep Kyle. I have to study for a test. Test? Oh shit! I forgot! Okay okay no worries... I'll just call Kenny and maybe Cartman to watch Kyle."

The next day came. Stan was woken up to a loyd crying sound that seemed to get louder by the minute. The raven got up from his bed and tried to think why he heard such a loud cry. It was when he remembered what happened to Kyle. "Okay Kyle, I'm coming!", he said weakly as he headed out of his room into the lounge. Kyle was still laying down, yet he was squirming bit as if he was uncomfortable. "What's wrong? You hungry?". Stan picked Kyle up and patted the infant's back gently. Kyle did belch much to Stan's surprise. He immediately stopped crying and smiled. "Wow you cry over that?". Stan quickly put Kyle down and called his friends to come over. He was worried about the fact that he had to explain how Kyle turned into this. Hopefully they wouldn't get to upset about dropping everything to babysit their own friend. Luckily they did agree to watch Kyle.

When the two got to Stan's apartment they were a bit shocked. "So yeah, Mespesio turned him into a baby.", Stan finished his explination. Kenny thought Kyle was pretty cute and he even started to play with him. "Wow Stan, you really did it now! I have to take care of a jew! A baby jew! God hell has already started!", Cartman spat at Stan. "Look dude, I have to take a test and if I'm late I'll get a failing grade for the semester. Please just take care of Kyle. You know feed him, burp, change his diaper if nessasary-". "Woah woah! You mean Kenny can change the jew. I'll feed him but I am not looking at his penis!", Cartman interrupted. Stan just sighed and headed out the door. Yet the minute Stan left Kyle began to cry. "Oh god what do you want jew lord?". Kyle started to scream and even pulled on Kenny's parka strings making the parka tighten. "Don't cry Kyle. You want Cartman?", Kenny cood to the infant as he walked over to Cartman. "Car-man?", the infant babbled in confusion. "Get that ugly thing away from me!", Cartman shouted making Kyle squeal a bit. Kenny forced the baby into the fat boy's arms. "Just fucking hold him while I warm him up a bottle." The blonde then headed over to the kitchen. Cartman sat down on the couch with Kyle in his arms. It was when the baby started grunting and straining. "What? What's wrong with you?", the brown haired boy asked in a bit of annoyance. Kyle stopped grunting and his lip quivered. "Need go oopy!", he shouted in a gibberish way. Kenny then walked out of the kitchen and took Kyle from Cartman. "Is Kyle thirsty?", the blonde asked in a sweet voice. Kyle nodded and held his arms up. Kenny then put the bottle nipple between the infant's lips, who soon started to drink. "This isn't so hard. You know Kelly has had experiences with small children and she would be happy to see me bottle feeding an infant.", the blonde explained with arms smile. After about five minutes Kyle spit some of his milk out and began to grunt and strain again. "No! Need go oopy!", the infant cried. "He's retarded Kenny. Stan must've dropped him.", Cartman quickly added. Kyle continued to grunt for another three minutes. "Okay maybe he just needs to be burped.", Kenny stated as he put the baby over his shoulder. He pat the infant's back, but his time there was no burp. There was a sigh in relief and then a yet again crying Kyle. "Shut him up!", Cartman shouted as he got up from the couch. It was when the two boys began to smell a foul odor coming from Kyle. "Uhh I think I know what he wants.", Kenny said in a nervous tone. Cartman took a few steps back from Kenny. "That's your job! Change his diaper before it starts smearing up his back." "But why me? I fed him so you should change the fucking diaper!", Kenny yelled making Kyle shriek. The two argued for about five minutes on who was gonna exactly have the duty taken care of. Kyle watched the two as he started pulling his sagging diaper up. "Needy me me!", he cried.